Thursday, November 15, 2012

Hi, My Name is Jennifer and I'm Belly Deficient

For those of you who have been pregnant, did it bother you when you ran into someone out and about that you hadn't seen in a while and as soon as you saw them they would immediately look down at your stomach?  I feel like I need to have a button made that says, "Seriously, I AM pregnant!" 

I get that I'm not showing all that much yet; give a girl a few months my people!  I'm sure I"ll pop out like a balloon any day now - but for now, trust me when I say I'm in my 6th month and my baby is huge!  He's just a stealth baby!  O'Pedro is just tucked in there and kicking me like a mad baby - Seriously, he's big for his level of development.  I'm hoping he continues to be big too!  I can take it!

I wasn't a toothpick when I started and I gotta tell you, the first 4 months of the baby's development didn't include a whole lot of eating on my part.  I'm eating now, but about 1/2 of what I used to be able to eat.  I'm so incredibly hungry these days, that it's actually annoying when I have to stop because the hiccups begin.

By the way, that's my sign to stop eating - I hiccup.  I try to stop before I actually get to that point though let me tell you.  I also CANNOT drink when I eat.  It just takes up too much room.  It's sort of like when I was in college - you didn't eat AND drink beer because it was too many calories and besides, it was more expensive to get a good 'buzz" going when you had food in your stomach....I know - bad.  But I went to an all women's college.  We had our priorities my people. 

So I've gone back in time about 20+ years in reverse and am now rationing my beverage intake so I can eat instead!  How history sort of repeats itself!

So if you know me and have asked for a 'belly shot' - You won't get one for a while.  I would seriously disappoint you.  I'm hoping by Christmas-time that I'll have a 'belly worthy' picture to share - for now, trust me when I say, I have a pooch, I'm still wearing my regular pants and probably will for a while.  I have exactly 2 pairs of maternity pants - hate them and haven't worn them- but that's a whole other post....I plan on making my jeans hold out as long as is possible!

For now, please remember to not stare at a pregnant woman's stomach!  It's already miserable enough without thinking you're slacking in the belly size department!  :o)  I'll get that button made and hey, maybe I'll sell them on Etsy -

Happy Thursday Ya'll!



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Life Goes On....

One more doctor down!  Woohoo!  We got great news today from the cardiologist - he doesn't need to see me for another 2-3 months - it feels so good to check one more thing off the list.  It's a relief for sure, but in reality it's just so nice to have one less doctor poking at me! 

Things are going well - I'm having some swelling in one of my legs.  It drives me crazy as it's so random and weird; I'll suck it up though - it's better than both legs right? :o)

Work is crazy as usual - especially since my boss has decided to move to a new position with a new company.  Change is good though and I'll just go with the flow.  I've learned in my career to Keep smiling, keep your head down and show them what you've got.  My mantra these days.  I get that everyone is struggling with changes and layoffs are still happening - but change will happen. I have just learned over the years that things will continue to change and sometimes, they are changed for the better.

The oddest thing is knowing that even if I wanted to leave, I can't right now!  It's odd to think that I really can't talk to anyone else about a new job - after all, hiring a woman who is 6 months pregnant can't possibly be appealing right now for any company.  SO for now, I'll enjoy the new challenges and keep smiling.

We're in the process of trying to just enjoy the moments we're experiencing.  We're living in the moment and having fun feeling "O'Pedro" kick like crazy and watching my body morph into a baby carrying machine.  I never let my heart get to the point of thinking about these these kinds of things - so this is really fun!  We're finally able to enjoy our baby-to-be!

We still have no boy names - nothing official anyway.  Hopefully Baby McG will be untarnished by us calling him "O'Pedro" for the first 6 months of his development!   Poor kid, it's almost guaranteed now that people will be calling him Pedro for the first few months of his life!  I guess it could be worse, but we (read B) really need to find a name and SOON! :o)    We have monograms to plan and things to think about that involve names!

On that note, our "Player to be Named Later" and I will sign off for now....

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Spaghetti Squash and Good News!

I'm still here...sorry I've been out of touch, but I've been buried with work and oy do my hands hurt!  I am dealing with a circulation thing that when I wake up in the morning is just miserable.  It also gets worse throughout the day from typing for work, so I really don't want to spend more time typing.

I know I'm lame - but I'm working on it! 

So here's the latest and greatest on me and Pedro!    He's 22 weeks and growing like crazy.  He likes to punch me when I sing at church and when I least expect it.  I'm ok with that though, because the more I feel him, the more I know he's ok!  He's a big boy my people...it's a bit scary!

Right now he's 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and in Pedro's case, about 1 1/2 lbs. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment.  

I have to admit I'm in withdrawal - We were having ultrasounds on a weekly basis so I never really had to wonder how he was doing.   So that leads to the latest great news! On a high note, at our last appointment with our regular doctor (2 weeks ago) our doc told us to 'get out of his office.'  He won't see us for another month! :)  Woo hoo!  We're doing well enough that we don't have to be poked and prodded all the time!  What a relief.

He did say, 'what you're doing is working, so keep doing it.'  That translates to staying in bed most of my days and working from home, but I'll do it if it means he'll continue to thrive!  Anything is worth that I guess!

So for now I'll go into work when we have meetings and stay home with my feet up the rest of the time.  I miss the day-to-day interaction with my co-workers, but have really enjoyed having the extra time with the Bubbies and B - I'm spoiled now I guess. :o)

Work is full of upheaval for me right now though....I'm super duper busy but the infrastructure of my department is pretty shaky right now.  I hope things even out quickly, but we'll have to wait and see....not my strong suit of course.

Do you know that the best part of today is????  The elections are OVER!  I'm not happy with the outcome, but I have sincere hope that things will improve with our economy.  I hope the rhetoric spouted out for the last year comes to fruition and that the United States becomes more united again!  I want Pedro to have a great future in this world -

A Mother can hope....

Well, with that I'll say Happy Wednesday Ya'll!  I hope you're doing great!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

What's For Dinner &*%*^&* ???

Ever feel your heart pounding so hard that you feel like it's going to explode?  I deal with that every day right now.  Not sure if it's normal for a pregnancy or not - but either way it doesn't feel too great.

I see a cardiologist tomorrow and I hope he can do something to help.  This happens when I'm sitting still for goodness sake!  Of course you know I Googled pregnancy and tachycardia and of course they said it happens - but I'm not sure what they consider to be a normal range.   My heart rate sitting still is a bit scary and I haven't really checked it after moving around yet - would probably make me cry!  Taking a shower can exhaust me to the point where I need a nap.  I have to sit down when I blow dry my hair.  What the heck has happened to me?!    When did I become a weak kneed wuss?

On the high side, I can eat again! :)  My butt isn't happy about this, but it sure is nice to not gag at every smell and sight of food!   I haven't gained any of the weight back that I lost though, so I'm hoping eating normally won't cause issues in the weight department!  Pedro still prefers meat in pretty much all shapes and sizes - except for hamburgers.  

I'm hoping that someday, my love of a good burger will come back - but one never knows I guess.    It's amazing how my tastes have changed though.  I couldn't even begin to tell you what restaurant I want to go to - I eat completely differently than before.  Drives me crazy.  In fact, I just ate a yogurt for a snack.  I haven't done that in over a year.  It actually tasted good. 

I wish someone had told me my body was going to go crazy in the food craving department - I would have planned my pantry and freezer MUCH better!  Instead, we have a pantry and freezer full of food that I just don't want to eat!   Hopefully things will even out soon!

Now it's time for the nightly drama of "what do we eat for dinner?"   B has absolutely NO opinion these days - I'll ask him what he wants and I get, "whatever you want."  OMG.  Part of me thinks it's really sweet and the other part of me wants to smack him and say pick something - because I can't! 

So I'll leave you for now....I'm in a cranky phase for now - getting tired of my own company I guess.  

I hope today was a great one!
Happy Tuesday Ya'll!


Monday, October 8, 2012

Pedro It IS!

Hey everyone - sorry I dropped off of the radar once again.  The mental game of sitting in bed for so long tends to get to you after a while - I have so much to share though!  I've started my 5th month!  Go crazy I know - but time is finally moving ahead!

Baby McG IS a Pedro!  We found out last week that I'm not having a girl as we both thought, but instead, we're having a little boy!  It couldn't have been more of a shock if they'd told us we were having 4 babies!  We both sat there with our mouths hanging open while the ultrasound technician laughed at us!

Baby BOY McG is still growing ahead of schedule and as of last week was 6 oz!  He's going to be a big one! 

As for my health, I am still on bed rest and am hoping to get good news from my regular doctor at the end of this week.   The specialist is hoping that the bleeding issues I've been having will stop when the placenta completely shifts but we won't know that for a few weeks.  Fingers are crossed and prayers are going out - the baby continues to thrive and really, the fact that my butt is numb from sitting isn't the issue - right? :)

It's all about Baby McG as usual!  So the deal with names was this - I had a girl name in my heart for more years than I can count.  Sadly, it will have to stay in my heart!  Since I had picked the girl name, B and I made a deal that he would pick the boy names!  So the pressure is on - I do have veto power mind you, but it's all up to Daddy!  It's going to be tough because we have no ideas yet at all!

So for now, things are moving along as per the norm.  B is buried in school work and I'm slammed with work.  Working from home is convenient, but the lines get blurred - you find yourself working at odd times just because you can - I need to work on the boundaries of things - home is home, work is work....

I'm hanging in and feeling better on some days and not on others, but that's ok.  I have a little pooch on the front but am bumming people out that it's not bigger!  Right now I'm placenta anterior so the baby is tucked in behind the placenta.  When that shifts - I'm sure my tummy will balloon!

I hope you're all doing great and enjoying some fall weather! 

Happy Monday Ya'll!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Boredom Has Set In

Another few days down.  It feels like I spend A LOT of time these days just watching the clock...dare I say, wishing my time away?  The days feel much longer than in the past and I've just got to come up with ways to stay busy. 

I'm so over Facebook that I'm amazed at how people can spend so much time on it.  I'm not reading - at all.  Not sure why.  When I have work - I work...but I can't do that 24/7.  TV is just ridiculous....and I refuse to watch Honey BooBoo!

So where does that leave me?  Pouting and grumpy...even the Bubbies are out of sorts.  Paxton has been spending lots of time in his crate - which is so very odd.  Seamus is just miserable and won't settle down.  They aren't cuddling with me anymore.  I think they blame me for being in bed and for ruining their days.  I wish they would stay with B downstairs or somewhere else in the house but no.  They will not leave me for any length of time.  I almost feel guilty about it!

I think I need to dig out my embroidery or something, but honestly, I'm just not motivated.  This is the time of year I'm in the kitchen.  I want to make my applesauce and my Jewish Apple Cake - I want to bake and cook comfort food - instead, I'm racking my brain every night trying to come  up with something that will appeal that we can order for take out.

It's going to be a really long 5 months my people.  I think B will go crazy soon - today he was fitted for new running shoes (Thanks DD!).  His knees were giving him grief - but considering he has just started back to running after an almost 10 year hiatus, he's doing really well!  Go B!

I'm really proud of him - he's training for a 5K in November.  I hope I can go and yell for him when the time comes!

In the meantime, I think Long Island Medium was on last night....and there's always the  Barefoot Contessa.  Oy, I'm so not good at being sedentary.....wish me luck!
Happy Monday Ya'll!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Our First Date!

So I'm a rebel....sort of.  I had no choice but to drive myself to acupuncture last night - no way I was missing the appointment.  I find the bleeding really slows down following each visit, so I don't want to lose the momentum and relaxation I'm getting.  B had to work and my awesome parents who also chauffeur me were out of town, so since I was feeling somewhat ok, I drove myself.

Of course I didn't eat much all day; in fact I was really hungry driving down to my appointment.  Seriously when I'm done with acupuncture, I'm starving.  They calm all my Qi and I'm ready for some grub!  For the past two weeks, because I'm so anemic, I have been craving meat and spinach.  I've had this issue before, so I recognize the symptoms...but usually I'm yearning for a hamburger.  Right now, Baby McG isn't interested in burgers - bummer.  Baby wants a steak!

Since acupuncture is near Uptown, and I was already so close, I scooted over to Outback.  WAHOO!  We had tried to go there a week or so ago, but got there before they opened - and then I realized I'd forgotten a chiropractor appointment so we had to leave and head towards home - sans steak.

Eating alone isn't my favorite thing to do - I've done it a lot when traveling.  But last night, I wasn't alone!  It was me and Baby McG, going out on our first date!  I asked for a table for one - and was seated in the deserted bar area in a booth.  Perfect!  I put my feet up and the waiter came over.  I smiled politely and told him I hadn't eaten a whole meal in over 3 months and was on a mission.  I ordered my meal and sat to play on Facebook a bit.

Well, let me tell you!  The salad came out in about a minute.  I chowed that down and was done before the waiter even came to check on me.  (A bit embarrassing I must admit!)  I knew I was acting like someone who hadn't eaten in a month.   Who cares, right?

Out a minute later, my little steak and my wee little baked potato.  Perfection.  They lasted exactly 6 minutes my people.  This time the waiter had learned his lesson and came over sooner to check on me - I was only half done.  Took me a little longer than the salad because of the chewing factor.  I did taste it, I promise.  I just didn't savour it.  I scarfed it down. 

As soon as I'd cleared my plate (like a charter member of the clean plate club,) I pushed it away - full to the gills.  SO done.

The manager came over and teased me - she'd been watching me chow down and actually asked me when I was due!  Smart woman - she then filled me in on how easy it was to place to go orders - apparently you should order your steak a bit more rare so you can heat it a bit when you get home!  Brilliant!

It was  a great experience and I'm sure if I walk in next week, they will remember me! 

Sadly, this morning I awoke with an upset stomach today and I've lost that hungry feeling once again.  :(  It was  fun while it lasted!  I guess I'll have to wait until my next acupuncture appointment.  I won't complain though - I'm losing weight while lying in bed - what girl wouldn't love that right?

Happy Friday Ya'll!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Update on Baby McG

Hey everyone - sorry I've been offline for so long.  It's been a grueling 3 weeks for sure.  Basically, Baby McG is doing well and is now 15 weeks!  Yay!  Unfortunately, I'm not doing as well.   Before I get into my issues, here are a few stats on Baby McG - he/she is 4oz!  Baby is measuring a few days ahead of my due date - we have an over achiever!   According to my fruits and veggies chart - the baby is the size of an apple now so I guess that's why I'm feeling a pooch finally.

So now for my drama...I have had bleeding on and off since about 5 weeks - now the bleeding has escalated and is threatening the baby.  SO, I'm on Double Secret Probation - aka - bed rest.  I'm allowed to work for now and go to doctor appointments etc...but otherwise, I'm tied to this bed.  The Bubbies are loving it - me?  Not so much.

I also found out that I am RH negative and the baby is not....so that is creating problems as well.  So now the baby might have complications as well.  Right now the numbers are really low - so please keep the baby in your prayers that they stay that way.

Otherwise, I'm tons of fun to be around - my pain is actually much better and I'm allowed to go see Dr. Matt, DD and the rest of Team McGowan for now...fingers are crossed that they continue to allow this.  We've become experts at ordering from menus across town and I still really don't have an appetite.  But for the most part the nausea has left me.  Woohoo!

For now I'm focusing on how well the baby seems to be doing for now and am praying like crazy.  I'm allowed to work from home for the time being and I hope it's allowed for a while.  Helps to keep me sane! 

I hope you're all doing well and having a wonderful week and September so far!

Happy Thursday Ya'll!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Let's Re-define High Risk Shall We?

Well, we have hit 12 weeks - the beginning of it at least!  Today is a big day for us and Baby McG!  We meet our new doctor!  We'll call him Dr. Wickham - aka Pride and Prejudice.  He comes highly recommended so we're pretty excited.

Baby McG is the size of a lime right now!  Woohoo!  Here are some other fun facts about what will happen this week!
The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long and weighs about half an ounce.

How fun - our baby's brain is firing away!  I promise not to poke my stomach to make him/her squirm!  That just sounds mean.  Maybe Baby McG will take that into consideration and not poke ME too much in the future! :o)

The interesting part of this visit will be convincing the doctor that I'm not as high risk as he might think I am.    Since our baby is adopted, (See Winkin, Blinkin & Nod), the baby is the product of an egg that was only 34 years old - not an antique 45 year old egg like mine are.    So there's a big difference in genetic testing I'm sure and hopefully they will let me breathe a bit more.  Of course when I tell them my trachea is collapsed, that might cause another wave of panic, but we'll get to that.   NO worries right?

I'm sure I will help to redefine the term "high risk" but hey, I'm used to living outside of the medical box.  I'm made for this kind of thing.  I hope he's the kind of doctor who listens to his patients' gut - as in instincts.  Time will tell. 

Overall we're trying to focus more on the excitement and fun of things.  I'm still feeling like I've been in a car accident - Dr. Matt's doing his best.  My nausea is now more just a sensitivity to smells of all kinds - so I eat here and there.  Still not eating well, but I'm eating - so we're getting somewhere.

I'm looking forward to a long holiday weekend and maybe some mattress shopping!  Goodness knows, this body could use a soft landing pad at night!

Hope you all are having a great week!

Happy Thursday Ya'll!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Party at the McG's, BYOC - Bring Your Own Cheese!

Wednesday is here!  We started our special day with a bright and early visit from Terminix!  Yay!  I actually was happy to see our service guy, James; he's such a nice guy - but today he was here for a rescue.  We have a dead critter in our house.  Yep.  It's horrifyingly disgusting from a pregnant woman's perspective my people.

It's in either the vent or the walls outside of the powder room downstairs in the very center of our home.  Of course.  Only the most important room for a pregnant woman when she's downstairs - the bathroom!    It's very fragrant and let me just say it makes me gag.  It is so foul.  Candles don't even begin to touch the smell.

It all started on Thursday night we got home from acupuncture; I was all relaxed and mellow.  Sigh.  We walked in the house and OMG - something had died - where was that horrible smell coming from??  We threw away some flowers thinking it was the water, but no.  I walked into the powder room and screamed.  That fast, something must have croaked in the wall and boy oh boy are we stuck.  

We immediately called a company to check things - they had been out to put vent caps on the house a few years back.  Since we'd had this problem once before, we assumed they could help.  Wrong.  Of course they charged us for the service call - but nothing.  They actually told us to 'keep the door closed.'  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

So B called our boy James at Terminix.  He came right out - climbed up into our attic and said, "you have mice."  WHAT????  No.  Not in my house.  It's not possible.  We've never seen or heard anything!  Well, apparently, the mice in the 'hood have been enjoying the comforts of our attic for years now.  They shimmy up the siding and slide on in to get warm and take nappies - and apparently, die in our walls.

So now we have to have new insulation installed in the attic to keep them out.  Then we block the spots where they were getting in through the siding and rain spouts AND I have to live with the idea that they have been having parties above our heads while we lie in bed.  Blech.

Of course no one can help with Au De Dead Mouse issue downstairs - we just have to live with it for a while.  It should 'go away soon.'  Needless to say, I will never be doing any renovations in this house.  There are probably little skeletons all throughout the framework of our home.....yuck!

I'm a country girl my people - I understand mice.  I guess I'm just so surprised that they never showed up in our kitchen looking for a snack!  I'm OK that they haven't mind you, I'm just amazed that the boys haven't gotten a scent of them or heard them....the Bubs are hanging their heads in shame....if there's a fly, they are on it....mice apparently, are outside of their wheel well....bummer.

Happy Wednesday Ya'll! 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sometimes You Want to Go....

Reconnecting with old friends - such a fun thing to do isn't it?  I love going down memory lane and catching up with folks that I've lost touch with over the years.  My life has taken me down a pretty screwy path, so it was hard to stay in touch with people that mattered to me over the years.

How lucky we are to have things like Facebook to help us reconnect!  I often reflect on how different my life would be without all of the wonderful people I've met in my life.  Some were around for very short spurts, and some I'll hold in my heart forever, eternally grateful for their role in my life.

Some I crossed paths with due to dumb luck and some I think Fate put in my way on purpose.  Among them, I've had some really great roommates - what a blessing they all were.  Some just to get me out of my country bumpkin shell - thanks GEEK!  And others, to keep me grounded...thanks ROOMMATE!  Others to keep me sane  - Thanks Lou....and the list goes on...

I've learned what it is to have some seriously great friends.  At a very young age, I learned that just because you have fun hanging out with someone, it doesn't make them a friend; it makes them a fun acquaintance.  That was a really hard realization - it hit me when I was sick with a jaw problem back in my 20s.  I 'woke up' after surgery and realized that the people I thought were my friends were simply 'playmates' and they didn't want to play anymore.

Don't get me wrong - they were really nice people.  I was just no fun to be around.  Since we hadn't created the bonds that makes up a true friendship, when I wasn't up to go play at Moe's & Joe's, I dropped off the call list.  So I moved on.  I learned to make better, lifelong friends.  It was a hard lesson - but one that has served me well.  It moved me in a different, more meaningful direction.  One that I needed to take I think.  I needed to "go somewhere else where everybody knew my name!"  (And not just for hanging out in a bar either!)

Over the 10 years of our marriage, I've been sick quite a bit.  B and I haven't been able to make that many friends as a 'couple' because of that (well that and because we moved across country.)  I feel like I've short-changed him on that....and I'm hoping we can work on fixing that moving forward.  Not that I'm looking to replace the wonderful friends we do have - unfortunately, a lot of them live somewhere else!  If I had a dollar for every time I said the line, "I wish we lived closer" to friends, I'd be able to retire by now!

SO for now, I'm going to enjoy reconnecting and laughing over silly memories and I'm going to look forward to creating new memories.  I know that the next phase of our lives will be pretty complicated.  Not only am I going to be a new first time mommy, I'm going to be a lot older than most of the other mommies.  That's going to be a shift.  Most of my friends are sending their kids off to high school or college - mine isn't even here yet!  I always did do things at my own pace - married at 35, baby at 45...

Change is good though and I'm looking forward to the new challenges.  I'm looking forward to making new friends and keeping in touch with the great friends I've made over the years.   No matter where we travel in the US, I think we have someone we can visit with when we get there! 

Now how fun is that?!

Happy Tuesday Ya'll.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Made in Charlotte

Well, I'm back.  Sort of.  I've been on a hiatus of sorts - trying to get rid of these wicked, wicked headaches.  I've asked for advice and tried it all, but unfortunately, these nasty things are caused by me, myself and I - not hormones.  I have numerous musculoskeletal issues that resulted from a few surgeries about four years ago.  When you add those to hyper mobile joints and strong muscles, you get issues and evil headaches.

Dr. Matt has been at the center of my universe followed VERY closely by DD and her 'evil' yet healing massage hands.  Between the two of them, I'm able to see straight for now but still need to get a good night's sleep.  

Baby McG is thriving - thank goodness - I guess this is my first "mommy" lesson - I feel horrible, but the baby feels great - that's all that matters! Suffering is all part of the deal! :)

So I'm here...I'm fighting through the fog and dreaming about Advil and chewing food again.  But until I get 'on top' of the headaches, chewing isn't in my future.  I've been released from the amazing fertility clinic we've been going to for years - it was so sad and yet such a happy moment. 

It is always their goal to release their patients to our regular docs for further prenatal care, but it's bittersweet to leave that amazing support network behind.  There were tears and hugs and they gave us the sweetest onesie that says "Made in Charlotte" on the front - our first baby clothes gift.  We love it - it's surreal for now.  I guess it will feel more real when I start to see a 'regular' doctor and the ultrasounds change from weekly to monthly - OY!  Team McGowan is morphing!

I'm in the middle of week 11 - Baby McG is almost the size of a lime - but according to the doctor, "it's a long one!"  Uh oh.  Where on Earth will I put a long baby???  Looks like I'll be carrying a pretzel soon!  Poor kid - let's hope he/she stops getting longer and just starts to fill in!    God did not give me a normal sized upper body - in fact I'm so short wasted that petite shirts are long on me....should be an interesting time!

For now, my focus is on work and getting through some really interesting projects.  I'm swimming in a sea of bureaucracy right now - luckily I'm a strong swimmer.  I'm hoping this too shall pass and good things will come with this new job.  It's interesting and requires out of the box thinking - nice for a change!

I hope you're all doing well!
Happy Monday Ya'll!







Monday, August 20, 2012

One Mack Daddy Crack

Wow.  What a wacky weekend.  It was a blur....after seeing Dr. Matt this morning, I now understand why.  My people, my body is adapting all too well to this baby thing.  So well in fact, that my neck decided to slide to the left side - all of it.  That was causing my monster headache that would never go away and caused my entire weekend to be nothing but a blur. 

He did one mack daddy crack - a cranial sacral pull -and wham.  My whole spine cracked in response.  I heard it and felt it all the way to my tailbone.  Sweet mercy.  Needless to say, going forward, I will now be seeing Dr. Matt twice a week.  None of this tough guy, I only need him once in a while business. 

Pain has a whole new definition when you're having a baby I've learned.  No popping Advil.  No heating pads.  No hot baths.  All of my vices are off limits.  So the chronic pain that I've had for years now is magnified to the nth degree.  Add in hyper,loose joints and I'm a human rubber band who pops things as a hobby.  Good times.

At least we know that the headache was due to a mechanical problem and not hormones.  There's that at least.

I'm waiting for the magic day that everyone has told me about....the day I wake up and feel GREAT!  Energized even!  I'll be content with an afternoon like that - seriously.  A great night's sleep would be good too. 

I did breakdown and buy a maternity pillow today - I'm praying that it works - if it doesn't, the Bubbies will have a really expensive new bed to fight over!

So for now, I'm still fighting the vestiges of a slight headache and although it was fun to see L & L for a short while this weekend - it wasn't nearly long enough!  Can't wait to see the whole H clan and soon!!!

For now, good luck to all with the 'back to school' traditions going on this month and I hope that everyone loves their new teachers!  Don't let the homework break you! :)

Happy Monday Ya'll!

Friday, August 17, 2012

MMMmmmm Green Onions!

The Free Dictionary defines a headache as, "A headache involves pain in the head which can arise from many disorders or may be a disorder in and of itself."  To me, the definition of a headache is this:

Yes, I'm sitting at my desk wearing sunglasses.  I've taken a dose of the dreaded caffeine medicine and am just trying to hunker down until my critical call at 11AM today.  After that, I'm going home to bed!  This has got to end.

This headache will just not give up.  Haven't ever had this before, although I've always been able to take my beloved Advil in the past.  Now, I get one little Advil a day and that doesn't even take the edge off of things.  (At least I get that!)  So I'm praying to the Tylenol gods that I get some relief so I can play with L&L later today!

I'm going to be flying solo tonight - been a while since B has had a double work day, but he's working today at my favorite place and then tonight is working an NFL football game.  So it will be just us girls!  It will be so great to see L&L that I think that's all that's getting me through today so far!

Well, B was a total trouper and made chocolate chip cookies last night!  (OK, so I'm made the batter - held my nose the whole time.)  He baked the batch and cleaned up and everything.  While he was doing that, I cleaned a rotisserie chicken - I deserve a medal for that - and made chicken salad. (Again while holding my nose.) 

In the recipe that I use, I add green onion, basil and a few other fragrant ingredients.  After I had it mixed and in the fridge, B cleaned up the cutting board and counters for me.  After which I sliced strawberries to place in the freezer in readiness for my protein shake in the morning - on the same cutting board.  Well, as you can probably guess, the cutting board still had 'au de green onion' on it and this morning I"m enjoying a strawberry and green onion protein shake.  Yum.

I really should just go back to bed shouldn't I? :)

Hope you're having a great Friday Ya'll!



Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm Going to Buy A Lottery Ticket

Hey - great news.  I slept last night. Unfortunately, that sleep wanted to continue on and on and on and resulted in a stupid migraine this morning.  Some day I'll get my sleeping rhythm back. 

So today I'm working at home and fighting through a migraine and the stupid caffeine medicine - it's the only one that will help at this point.  I'm blurry and sort of coherent, so I guess that's a step above from how I felt earlier this morning. 

I pray every night that I have pain-free sleep - so far I'm not quite there, but as the saying goes - "A man prayed every day- dear God - please let me win the lottery.  Every week he didn't win.  He prayed and prayed the same thing non-stop.  Finally after some years passed, when he asked God yet again to help him win the lottery -God answered - My Son, you have to buy a ticket first." 

So I'm 'buying a ticket to the lottery' by playing with my available arsenal of meds hoping beyond hope that Tylenol and all its shapes and forms will help me to manage my pain.  Now THAT will truly be a miracle!

I sincerely hope that Pedro-Nina is hanging in with this medical roulette for now.  Hopefully he/she is in there doing the cha-cha and have a great time!  Today is 10 weeks - hopefully only two more weeks of fun ahead.  I don't want to jinx it or anything, but the nausea is actually at a low roar today - maybe the Vitamin B6 is finally helping?  Or maybe God is taking pity on me and taking nausea off the list while I'm manage the headaches.  Either way I'll take it!

On a high note, we have dear friends coming into town tomorrow - L and her daughter L will be here on Friday and are in town for a soccer tournament.  I so hope I'm up to it to go and cheer L on!  I've always wanted to see her play!   I'm going to coach B through making chocolate chip cookies later tonight.  Say a prayer for me! :)

Happy Thursday Ya'll!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Hangover

Ahh...Wednesday.  Now we're getting somewhere.  Yesterday we had another ultrasound - and - total coolness alert - we were both floored to see the baby move!  I'm not even 10 weeks but that little booger is moving around like crazy!  WOOHOO! It was so amazing and humbling to see that tiny little, peanut sized being, squirm around to try and get away from the ultrasound!  The heart rate is climbing and the baby is growing well.   I have one more ultrasound next week and then they will 'release' me to a regular OB...we're so excited!!!  Almost done with the first trimester already!  Wow....things are just flying by- well...sort off!

I've had a rebound headache for the last 4 days so while we were there, the doctor prescribed some meds to help.  Silly, silly girl that I am, I took one at about 7PM last night.  After my sweet, snoring husband woke me at 2AM, I enjoyed an episode of the Property Brothers and a movie and a half on the Hallmark channel.

Grr.....needless to say, my first words to him this morning was, "you are going to the doctor or I'm moving out."  Or something like that; I'll admit the exchange was a bit blurry.   So B and the Bubbies had a wonderful night's sleep and I'm sleep deprived and a mess as per the norm these days.

Upon looking up the ingredients to my new prescription, I found that apparently, the meds had caffeine in them.  I haven't had caffeine in four years my people.  Four years....until yesterday evening.  Today, I look and feel so hung over that B had to drive me in to work.  My eyes are dilated and my head is spinning.  Good times!  Next time, I promise I'll read the bottle.  I usually do, but the name of the meds sounded familiar...then again, back in my Starbucks Venti Bold days, a little extra caffeine wouldn't have bothered me.  Ahh...I miss those days!

It's a great time here in Jennifer-land right now folks.  I'm selling tickets if anyone else wants to enjoy the ride with me!  Here I am killing myself to be here, making my husband drive me to work like I'm freaking Miss Daisy and my boss is out today with a headache and nausea.  Pause....let's let that sink in a minute.....

HA!  Oh, the irony.  Now, I don't wish ill will on anyone, but if there was ever a day when I needed to be home, it was today.  But "pregnant, nauseous, dizzy, and hung over" me is here - present and accounted for...I'm just sayin'.   I know, I know, you don't get medals for being a martyr....but it's just such a new company, group and responsibilities, that I guess I'm being overly cautious and erring on the side of showing my face, as gnarly as the sight might be.

So for now...I'll go back to my Corn Chex and hunker down.  I hope you're all having a great week!

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Manic Tuesday

Just another manic Tuesday....don't you just hate driving into work (after you left on time and everything) and realizing after about 15 minutes, that you had a conference call that started 15 minutes earlier.  Nice. 

Luckily when I got on the call, they only needed me for another 10 minutes instead of the hour they had scheduled.  I hate when people do that by the way....why block my calendar for 60 minutes when you only need 15?  Then they joke and say - "look, I gave you back 45 minutes!"   My brain  immediately goes to - "You Dork.  You just wasted 15 minutes of my time at 8AM.  Don't try to be cute with me.  Just hang up the damn phone." 

I'm in a great mood aren't I?  I've been living with a headache for 3 days now.  Add the nausea in and I'm a fun girl to be around right now.  Seriously, I'd be a blast at parties - what a total joy package I have working!  

Have I mentioned that Baby McG is now the size of a grape?  Yep.  Here's some other interesting tidbits:
  • At 9 weeks pregnant, baby has begun movement - While still too small for you to feel, your little one is wriggling, shifting, and dancing already! Makes you almost wish for a window to peek in whenever you want!
  • Most joints are formed now - and trust that your little one is practicing bending and flexing.
  • Fetus will curve its fingers around an object placed in the palm of its hand - This is amazing to see! At only 9 weeks pregnant, if you happen to have an ultrasound, you may observe your infant fascinated by everything he or she can lay their fingers on (mainly other fingers, toes, ears and nose!
  • Fingerprints are already evident in the skin
  • Average size at 9 weeks pregnant -- length 0.9 inch (2.3cm), weight 0.07 ounce (2gm)
How cool is all of that?  I'm actually 9 weeks and six days so we're almost at the next phase which is even more interesting.  I'm enjoying learning all of this information and it's so hard to believe all of this happens so early in the baby's development!  When we hit 10 weeks - "Pedro-nina" is officially a 'fetus.'  It's a big day for her! :o) Woohoo!  I still call her booger, but in medical terms it's fetus for now.

See?  I'm trying to focus on the fun and not the misery after all!  It's tough to weed through the really bad days right now, but I've been through worse! 

For now I'll keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have Team McGowan and such a wonderful group of family and friends for support!   This afternoon we're off to hear the little heartbeat one more time....just a precaution after our scare last week.  Fingers and toes are crossed!

Happy Tuesday Ya'll!

Monday, August 13, 2012

It Isn't Easy Being Green

Hey everyone - I've not forgotten you!  I've been on bed rest - again.  All is well.  Had another scare, but the baby is fighting as am I.  The little heart is beating like crazy and that keeps me calm.  Unfortunately though, the nausea seems to be beating me.  Although I've had some wonderful suggestions from lots of friends, none of them seem to be working to quell the horrible feeling.  I'm just going to have to 'suck it up' until it passes!  I'll try to keep the whining down to a low roar.  I promise!

All is not lost however - I have lost six pounds! :o)  It's odd that all of my pants are baggy on me for now...I'm sure in a few months I'll miss the bagginess, but for now, I'll appreciate it and hope that maybe I lose a few more before things shift.  I have plenty to spare so anything I lose now will help in the long run I'm sure.

I'm back at work and it feels odd.  I've been turned off for almost five days and now that I have to get stuff done...Oy.  Time to re-engage.  The mood is so somber here at work though.  I wish leadership would do something to get people mentally in a happier place....we need some team building.  Big Time.  It's tough enough to get into a new job without the depressing atmosphere that we have here right now.

At this point I have so much work though that it's a bit scary.  It's even scarier to know there is an end date in the near future...oy again.  While I can't wait for the baby to be here...I'm nervous about leaving work for a period of time.  I'm sure I'll get over that when the time comes, but being the planner that I am, it makes me nervous.

For now, I'll stick with living in the moment and getting through the next few weeks with a smile on my face.  I'll keep focused on what's in front of me and not what's down the road and see where that takes me.  I'll be thankful for my sweet husband and awesome family.  Wouldn't know what I would have done without them. 

We had a great visit with my older brother and his wife this weekend - it was great to see them!  It was fun to be able to just chill out and relax and not worry that my face was a pretty pale green.  Gotta love family!

I hope you've all been doing well and are having a great week so far -

Happy Monday Ya'll!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Another Ticket to Ride the Roller Coaster....

Hey everyone - this will be a super short post today - having some complications for now.  Was put on bedrest and have been tryng to juggle the physical issues with the mental stress for now. 

Any and all prayers would be greatly appreciated.

I'll keep everyone updated as I know anything more....

Thanks for your support -
Happy Wednesday Ya'll....

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Help! I Can't Find My Brain!

Grace under pressure.  That’s something that’s always been a goal for me.  I have one of those faces that are pretty open – I can hide things only if you don’t know me very well.  I have a theory that if you’re going to do something, you should do it to the best of your ability and put your heart into it. 
I’m a big believer in tying things up with a ‘pretty red bow’ and doing it up.   I’m a structured, detailed oriented person who follows rules.  In other words, I’m pretty damn boring! 
Lately, although I’ve been boring, I’ve exhibited very little grace and certainly no organizational skills.  It’s been eating at me – driving me crazy actually.  I feel like the biggest slacker.  I guess this is God’s way of getting me ready to have my world turned upside down.   
Without B right now, I would be running up and down the stupid stairs after forgetting my meds – which by the way, I have been taking 2X/day for the last 4 months.  I absolutely have a mental block about it and without him remembering to bring it upstairs for me, I would end up waking in the middle of the night in a panic to take it. 
Luckily work hasn’t been too busy, so at least I haven’t been digging a hole for myself there too.  I’m hoping that eventually I will get back on top of my ‘game’ and get organized again – at least until ‘Pedro-nina’ shows up!  Surely that isn’t too much to ask? 
I need to make a grocery list, return about 10 items to different stores (why did I think buying pants was a good idea before getting pregnant?), there are just piles of crap everywhere and I’m afraid to dig too far into our fridge….it hasn’t been cleaned out in a really, really long time.  (The freezer is an entirely separate drama.)
So I’m working on compartmentalizing my brain and writing lists.  I’ll need lists for my lists I’m thinking – but right now if I don’t write it down, I have no shot in heck at remembering things.
I know – baby brain and it’s just going to get worse.  I’ve had a month ‘vacation’ from being organized, but I need to get back on the bandwagon people.  I’m in serious withdrawal!
Any shortcuts you might have that you used while having a baby brain would be appreciated – I’m afraid I’ll start to lose my lists ya’ll!  That’s some serious hormone head!  I'm working on the grace under pressure - I think being exhausted is helping to slow down my response time - luckily.  I'm praying for grace and patience - none of which I'm normally very good at....time will tell!
Happy Tuesday Ya’ll!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Hey, I Look Good in Green

I’m alive.  Barely, but I’m here.  Sorry I’ve been offline for a while.  I tried the Zofran, it worked really well to curb the nausea and I felt like new!  Woohoo!  Unfortunately, I ended up with some bad side effects while taking it and can no longer enjoy nausea-free days.  Boo….
For the past three days, I’ve been a useless vegetable.  Seriously, I didn’t do a darn thing from Friday through Sunday.  I felt so sick I couldn’t move without spinning.
Cue Dr. Matt...
I got up this morning determined to make the best of today – mind over matter – you know how that works right?  I can do this!  Luckily I had an appointment with Dr. Matt this morning – purely coincidence.  He took one look at me and said, ”What’s bothering you the most.”  I told him to take a pick – I was in agony from the shoulders up to my neck.
He started low and worked his way up – it was at about 10 ‘cracks’ that he reached my neck.  Under my ears is a truly sensitive spot for me.    It has been for about 15 years now – I haven’t even been able to touch those spots…well, he felt up and down my neck and said, “Well, I would bet that you don’t feel well at all today.” 
Hmmm…was it the pale, greenish tonal quality to my skin?  Perhaps it was the sweat I broke into when I had to walk from my car into the building?    Maybe it was the way I was sucking down my Body by Vi shake this morning – like a lifeline….maybe he heard the prayers I was muttering under my breath.
Turns out, it had nothing to do with my gorgeous fa├žade (read sarcasm) – it was the fact that the axis bone at the top of my neck was completely sideways and out of joint.  (Note, the axis bone is the second cervical vertebra in the spinal column. It allows the head and neck to rotate or turn and shake.)   THAT’s why my neck hurt when I turned it. Well Duh.  Apparently it was also making me extremely dizzy and nauseous. 
So, I’m still dealing with the nausea, but at a much lower level and all of the evil side effects of the Zofran have hopefully gone away.  And hey, I can touch under my ears like a normal person again - not that normal people do that often.  It's the principle of the thing my people! 
I’m here….I’m walking more evenly and able to hold my head up – so that’s half the game! I'm no longer green, but since that's a great color for me, I was ok with it for a while.   I’m learning more and more about my new job and I’m actually looking forward to it!  Still don’t know what my title is and what my exact responsibilities are, but we’ll get there in time I guess.
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and that you are having a great Monday too!

Happy Monday Ya’ll!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

I Am So NOT a Political Animal

Today was an interesting day.  I was riding the high of hearing the baby's heartbeat, but knew I had to meet with my 'old' boss first thing in the morning to find out what my new position was going to be in the new company.  My gut was already telling me I had a job - the wild card was that I wasn't confidant that it was going to be a job that I would actually want.

Catch 22 isn't it? 

Well, I think I've mentioned, always go with your gut.  Mine told me a month ago that something odd was going on - sadly I was right.  I won't go into details here.  Sorry - but let's suffice it to say I have a job.  It will be a challenge politically for me - one that I normally would walk away from.  I am so not a politically motivated animal.  I shoot from the hip and move on.  But I'm older, more seasoned, and I think as I put it, "I went to an all women's college - and I've learned a lot from some really tricky women.  I can do this with my eyes shut."

As my 'old' boss gave me the news I smiled and said, "if you had told me that at 9AM yesterday, my head would have exploded.  Luckily, I heard my baby's heartbeat yesterday afternoon.  So I'm ok."   Notice I didn't say happy.  I guess I should be - it's a job and no pay cut for now.  It's stability that we so need right now.  I'm really fortunate so I'll focus on that.

I'm in very good company - all of IT are wallowing in indecision right now.  We know who we will report to, but we don't know our new titles or our job responsibilities.  It's an odd sort of limbo.  Not a fun place to be, but I think all of the ups and downs of my career have prepared me for this.  I'm in.   (Read that I'm thinking in my best Scottish accent - this is both Good (GUD) and Bad (Bahd).)

I think overnight, my priorities have finally shifted - they've turned the final corner and I think I'm at peace. I am going to be a Mom! That's so much more important that what department I'm in at work - really.  It will be different for me, but change is good right?

On a high note, we got to see my parents tonight.  It's almost been a month since they left on vacation.  Even though I was pretty exhausted, it was great to get a hug from my Mom and show them the pictures of "Pedro."  We were issued a warning though that 'no grandchild of mine will be named Pedro" by my Dad...I assured him we wouldn't do that - as we felt it would be a girl - so "Pedro-Nina" it is! :o)

Just kidding....

I'm off for now  - I have Zofran to take and bathroom trips to make...

Happy Thursday Ya'll!


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Today Was a Gift I'll Never Forget

Wow - what a day it was today.  I didn't hear about my job yet - I'm hoping for Wednesday for that - we'll see.  As some of you may have seen on my Facebook page, we heard the baby's heartbeat today!  It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.  B and I both cried - it was impossible not to!  My doctor said everything looks really great and we're thrilled.

I finally feel pregnant!  There are so many thoughts running through my head tonight....it's so amazing to know I have another living being growing inside of me.  To see the baby's heartbeat - already - is such a miracle. 

How great is God?  Really?  What an incredible thing to give a beating heart to a being that is the size of a kumquat.  Truly - I'm humbled and feel unbelievably blessed to have been able to experience this - what a gift this journey has been.

I said to my doctor today that I thought that the fertility path was tough and boy was I naive!  This process has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through - the ups and downs have been terrifyingly crazy.   Every day changes, but I guess this is God getting us ready for whatever comes next. 

We took the longest possible path to get there, but I have say, looking back now, that it was the path we were supposed to take.  I so appreciate where we are now so much more because of where we've been. 

On a lighter note, the doctor prescribed Zofran - Yay Dr. T!  We're hoping it will take the edge off the nausea in the mornings so I can stay on top of the nausea - we'll see what happens.  At a minimum, I know I'll sleep tonight; Zofran makes me so sleepy!  I would love to be able to take off my pink striped -yet so pretty - PSI bands - even for a night.    They really bother me after a while.  I'm still nervous to take them off just yet.

One more month and this misery will hopefully be behind us - unless Pedro has it out for Mommy! :o) If that's the case, then I'll suck it up and appreciate peanuts mixed with chocolate covered raisins and Corn Chex for lunch for the next 7 months!   On a high note, I did eat a BLT for dinner tonight - B makes really good ones.  It didn't bother me in the least - it felt good to eat and not think about it for a change. 

For a person who loves cooking and baking, food is such an annoyance right now.  I dread packing my lunch and getting breakfast ready for the morning.  This is when I dream of having a food service deliver my meals - ones that I can change my mind about up to the very last minute - what I want, when I want it. 

Sigh.  For now, I'll drink my Dr. Matt special for breakfast (protein shake) so at least I know Pedro will get one 'non-Mexican' meal a day - I'll keep looking for things to eat that don't contain corn or potatoes and I'll appreciate every single, silly moment.

We are blessed.

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I'm On a Google Moratorium

Access to Google should be outlawed.  When you are stressed, sick, worried or in general just need information, going to Google is the first thing you do (at least I do).  You “Google it” to figure out what’s wrong or to get the answer you’re looking  for.  We equip ourselves with way too much information and subsequently, have to live with the consequences. 
So, here I am scared out of my wits.  I found out the reaction I had to dinner at The Melting Pot Sunday night, was shared by my Gluten Free buddy that we had dinner with.  It was such a severe reaction that I’m scared that it wasn’t just a GF reaction but that it was food poisoning. I feel horrible today and have a pretty bad head ache – all in all I feel like crap.
Of course I’m worrying about the baby now.  We have our ultrasound on Tuesday – so I only have 24 hours left to wait – but boy oh boy did my trip to Google-land screw with my head.  I’m so frustrated that I got so sick and that it might have harmed Pedro – add to that my feelings of inadequacy because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Here I was all pumped that I ate a normal meal and got nutrients like most people do – and then bam.  No more meal.  Now I don’t want food AT ALL!    So much for ‘getting on top’ of the nausea.
So once again, I have to turn off my head and pray.  This has been one heck of a roller coaster ride and I’m so tired and sick, I don’t know if I’m up for another lap around the block.   Going to work is enough stress in itself these days – even under normal circumstances.  Add that to the fun with my stomach etc…and I’m having issues pulling it together and keeping it there.
I’m so much fun to be around right now, I’m sure you all wish you could be here with me!  Just think, you too could be sitting next to me and watch me sip out of a water bottle 100 times just to drink 8oz and then eat Corn Chex a ½ at a time – it’s a happening time.  Maybe I’ll video tape it – it would be scintillating film for sure.
So, keep praying for us all day today – it’s a big one for the McGs – ultrasound and potential job offer – Oy.  You can never say my life is simple can you!?!
Sorry about today’s bitch-fest – I promise I will be Google-free for a while and will instead work on a list of questions for my doctor tomorrow.  That would be a much smarter use of my time – it just requires waiting which just is no fun – but then again – who said life would be fun right? J
Happy Tuesday Ya’ll! 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Misery Thy Name is Jennifer

Well, I haven’t dropped off the planet, nor am I on vacation in Tahiti – I was simply laid up all weekend with a wicked case of nausea – aka Pedro-itis.  It was evil my people, I cannot lie.  In fact, I really wasn’t able to eat a real meal until Sunday night. 
Fast forward to a lovely dinner with friends last night at the Melting Pot – love me some fondue!  Since cheese has been one of my recent favorite food groups, I thought it would be a great option.  It was wonderful!  I ate and ate and ate. 
Then I got home and hated my life and was sick as a flipping dog.  Lesson learned.  I won’t eat rich foods, I won’t over-indulge and I won’t go back to the Melting Pot until Pedro is here – I’m not convinced that I didn’t get some gluten in one of the dishes – that could have been the culprit.  Either way, food definitely holds little to no appeal right now.
So, needless to say, it was a pretty big waste of a weekend, but at least it happened over the weekend and not during the work week.  Things are calm for now – I’m hoping I’m back on top of the nausea and that Pedro will be more cooperative this week!
We’re all still waiting to find out about jobs here at work and I have our first “official” ultrasound tomorrow, so tomorrow will be a big day in the McG household.  I feel so greedy praying for two big positives, but I am.  I really need a job and I really want to see Pedro’s heartbeat!!!!  I'm claiming it Ya'll!
God knows what is coming, so I’m just keeping the faith and hoping He has good things in store for us.  It’s certainly been an interesting ride so far!  I promise my next blog will be more fun and interesting, but right now my creative has left the building.
I hope you’re all enjoying the Olympics as much as I am!
Happy Monday Ya’ll!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Uh Oh, I Broke Dr. Matt

Well, the deal is done - the company is sold and we are officially branded with a new identity.  We still don't have jobs or bosses,  but hey, why sweat the small stuff right? :)

I saw Dr. Matt this morning after I realized that turning my neck wasn't going to work out for me without help...that was because I'd popped a rib out apparently...go crazy.  Who knew you could do that while sitting at a desk?  The scary thing is though, that while Dr. Matt was fixing my popped out rib, he popped out his own!  Oops...is that a chiropractic foul?  I wonder if he'll bill me for his next chiropractic treatment along with mine?  Geeze...I didn't mean to hurt him!

Well, while he was nursing his side, we were chatting about a restaurant in Marietta, GA (where he went to school) that has a meal that is supposed to make you go into labor - the restaurant is called Scalini's.  They have over 300 baby pictures lining their walls and all of the babies were born shortly after eating their restaurant’s eggplant Parmesan dish.  I knew about this place when I lived in Atlanta, but it was so funny to go down memory lane and remember...their garlic rolls were 'to die for' delicious!

SO why am I bringing this up?  I think now that Pedro is letting me eat - I've become obsessed with food.  It's a love/hate relationship and honestly, I'm alternating between starving and nauseous.  Have you ever noticed that when people talk to pregnant women, they discuss food, cravings and favorites?  When's the last time you were asked if you had any cravings if you weren't pregnant?  Who cares really?  There's just such an obsession with the odd mix of foods that women crave when they are pregnant.  It makes me laugh!

I'm fascinated by the correlation between pregnancy and food.  I always thought I would eat such a healthy diet and never binge on things that were bad for me if I got pregnant.  HA!  I had french fries for lunch today.  Nothing else - just fries.  That's what Pedro wanted.    I was going to have pickles too, but showed some restraint with the salt - I was proud of myself.  The lunch I had planned made me gag.

All he had to eat today was Corn Chex, M&Ms (just a few) and french fries - that is until I went to Dairy Queen and had small Reese's Blizzard - hey it helped charity and had dairy in it - don't judge me!  I tried to fix it at dinner tonight - Pedro wanted meat - thank goodness, so I actually had a meal.  I had a small steak, a salad and a baked potato.  FOOD!  I ate like a grown-up!  I ate a vegetable!

Goodness knows what tomorrow will bring.  I'll be sure to bring my bag of Corn Chex though because Pedro sure is fickle!  (He must be a she the way he changes his mind!)  The one thing I know I'll avoid is the eggplant parm at Scalini's in Marietta! :o)

Happy Friday Ya'll!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

What a Butt-Clenching Sort of Day

Well Wednesday would not be a day I'd like to repeat.  It was a pretty non-descript day over all until this afternoon.  But boy, when 3:30PM hit, all bets were off.  Work has just exploded.  Let's just leave it at that for now - and suffice it to say I'm so disappointed in people in general that I need to do something to remind myself that, people are good and caring and that the world is a good place to be.

Right now, I feel old, jaded and disjointed.  I feel disrespected and naive.  I wish I could share with you what happened, but I can't.  I can say it wasn't to me personally, it was to our whole company.  We're all at a loss for words I think.

So here I am, still waiting to find out if I have a job and really not sure if I want it.  I mean, I need it, but I don't know who to trust anymore and it scares me that my hopes are hinged on that.   I hope that this is just a rough patch and that things will look up.  I hope that the people left in our legacy company will lead well and be people we can trust.  I have hope.

It's tough enough to go into work when you're in limbo, but add in knowing this bad news and being worried about your future and bam - makes for a great rest of the week doesn't it? :)

I love the people I work with as I mentioned previously and it breaks my heart to see any of them hurt...so that made today even more difficult.  I think the next few weeks will be harder than anything I've ever been through.

I time everything well don't I?  We had a reception tonight for the final night of our company - and it was in a location that wasn't air conditioned.  I learned that I need air conditioning.   I left feeling unwell and got home and collapsed.  I swelled up like a little balloon and felt like I'd been through a marathon.

Luckily I had nothing to do, so I crashed for a bit and have rallied for now....lesson learned.  Pedro hates the heat.  I have been able to eat much more than before thankfully - so my energy is better.

So here I am, pregnant - still haven't heard the heartbeat and still not sure if I have a job....woohoo!  I sure know how to time things don't I?  I never did do things like everyone else, but I think all of this is testing things - it's a bit much isn't it?  

For now, I have no option other than to wait.  I'm practicing my 'Darth Vader' breathing and trying to calm my mind and focus only on today.  Easier said than done - but I can do this - I'll be in good company as all of my co-workers are in limbo in some shape or form as well.

Pray for all of us - it's a difficult thing to go through at any time, but add in the current state of our economy and job market and it's downright butt clenching scary.

SO the goal for tomorrow is to keep my butt cheeks relaxed and focus on breathing - and eating and drinking.  I have control over these things - life is good.  Oh and Pedro is now the size of a blueberry!   Yay!

Happy Thursday Ya'll.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Winkin, Blinkin & Nod

I want to introduce to 3 key players in our lives, Winkin, Blinkin and Nod.  I'm not sure if all of you know the poem – but I loved it as a kid - so here it is:
Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden shoe;
Sailed off on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going and what do you wish?" the old moon asked the three.
"We've come to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea.
Nets of silver and gold have we," said Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song as they rocked in the wooden shoe.
And the wind that sped them all night long ruffled the waves of dew.
Now the little stars are the herring fish that live in that beautiful sea;
"Cast your nets wherever you wish never afraid are we!"
So cried the stars to the fishermen three - Winkin', and Blinkin', and Nod.

So all night long their nets they threw to the stars in the twinkling foam.
'Til down from the skies came the wooden shoe bringing the fisherman home.
'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed as if it could not be.
Some folks say 'twas a dream they dreamed of sailing that misty sea.
But I shall name you the fisherman three - Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

Now Winkin' and Blinkin' are two little eyes and Nod is a little head.
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies is a wee one's trundle bed.
So close your eyes while mother sings of the wonderful sights that be.
And you shall see those beautiful things as you sail on the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three - Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

Now the reason I shared this poem with you is because this is what B dubbed the 3 embryos that we transferred on 6/27/12, Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod.  It meant a lot to me and I think surprised him because he didn’t even know the story.  It just came out of his mouth!   J  Our doctor and nurses call them that as well – it made if feel so real and kept me going.

So maybe it’s time for a bit of background on W,B & N…  so, here goes....after all of our trials and tribulations with infertility, we were given an amazing gift.  We adopted embryos.  Yes, we adopted embryos.  Really.  We opted to ‘rescue’ embryos that were already waiting for a family rather than continuously pulling a ‘Celine Dion’ and going through IVF over and over and over again with my eggs as they are just old…sad, but true.  It just felt selfish and hopeless after a while.  The clock kept ticking.

We had a path to take, so we did.  I had to feel closure and know that we had done everything we could do to try to have our own children.  So when we were having what I thought might be our last visit with our fertility doctor, she gave us some pamphlets to read about embryo adoption.  It sounded interesting – especially to me, the Queen of all Medical procedures. 

We thanked her and left.  Fast forward about a year and I started thinking more and more about embryo adoption and that it might be an amazing option for us.  As a Catholic, I believe that life begins with conception, so it was just breaking my heart to know there were hundreds of thousands of babies out there just waiting for homes! 

The bonus was I got to carry the baby myself!  What an amazing gift!  I found our adoption agency and to clinch the deal, it is a Christian agency.  I called them and the woman on the other end of the phone told me she would pray for me at the end of a great conversation.  How amazing!  MORE icing on the cake!

It was meant to be.  It just felt right.  We were in! Next came the home study (which was horrifying but another story) and then the waiting.  We had to write a bio about ourselves and include pictures – scary in its own right – once that was done, the agency, after a few months, matched us with a fantastic family.  They picked us!

And oh, what a match it was!  The note from the genetic family couldn’t have been more ‘right’ if I had told them what to say. In fact, they said things I didn’t even know I needed to hear!  It was a huge relief and blessing to know we’d been matched with such an amazing family.

So we all of the sudden were ‘parents’ and were ready to get going with a transfer – that process took a while and the rest as you know it is history!

We have one blessing and the other two will meet up with us someday – without all of them, we wouldn’t have been able to go down the path to parenthood!

Winkin' Blinkin' and Nod
 

We are blessed!

Happy Wednesday Ya’ll!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Monday Was Just a Write-Off

What to do when you have nothing (or not much) to do?  That’s my current dilemma.  I’m in limbo as I expected and really wish I had a huge project to work on, but right now, that’s not the case.  So as I sit in my new office location – at my new wobbly desk – with my new phone that no one can figure out, I try to find things to do.
Obviously, we’ve moved into our new office location.  We’re in the other building and boy oh boy is it warm and humid.  I actually brought a fan in with me to help with the stifling heat that almost took me out yesterday.  No lie.  It is just sickening in here.
Yesterday was a really rough day for me.  I woke up sicker than I’ve been at all – so miserable I didn’t make it into work until about 9:30AM….it took me three hours to feel like I could actually take a shower and get ready – driving was a joy.
Here are some fun highlights of my day Monday:
1.       Woke up gagging.
2.       Got to work about 2 hours after my co-workers to move into our new cubicles.
3.       Found out my desk shakes when I type – so my monitor gives me the motion sickness gags.
4.       I walked with some friends over to our old building to have lunch in the 95 degree weather.   As soon as I entered the old building, my heel broke off of my favorite shoes.  They’re toast.
5.       I heated my lunch, sat down to eat and gagged.  Closed lunch and sat for a minute with the group and then had to leave because the smells of their lunches was too much.
6.       I walked back to the new building solo.  Water was more than I could handle yesterday.
7.       I limped the rest of the day.
8.       I had a cup of Corn Chex and popcorn to eat all day - that’s it.
9.       I spilled my ice coffee from Starbucks all over the back of my car when I went to leave work.
10.   Went to the chiropractor (yay Dr. Matt) – that was a highlight – but my back and neck were so bad I had to lie on ice for about 30 minutes.  Ouch.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some highlights to yesterday – the chiropractor helped me immensely.  I feel better – slept well last night and had yoga with my friend K.  She calmed me down the rest of the way after a really crappy day.  Yay YogaMe!!
Today, I’m equipped with my fan, my psi wristbands, a calmer stomach and a hope that this will turn out to be a great week!
Happy Tuesday Ya’ll!