My Heart Is Full!

This whole "Mommy" thing has been a revelation.  I had literally no expectations going in, except for knowing that I would love little man to pieces.  I had no idea that every day it would get harder and harder to leave him to go to work.  It does not seem to matter that I know he is safe and happy and loved beyond recognition.  It is just hard.

Being a Mom is hard.  I get that now in a way that I never could have before Blake.  Your heart literally splits when you have a child.  He/she takes a piece with them when they are born and you are forever tied together in the strongest way possible.

Their pain is your pain.  Their happiness is your happiness.  The best things are the little things – watching him figure out he has fingers or that you have fingers too – brings tears to the eyes.   Each success is a conquest and each delay is heartbreaking.  Life seems to slow down yet go so fast your head spins.  Life becomes a study in contrasts.

I recently heard about friends of a friend who just lost their triplet baby girls.  Twenty four weeks of praying and watching them grow and then they are born and gone so fast that it is a blur.  My heart is just broken for them.  God had other plans for those sweet little babies, but how does a Mother recover from that loss?  The minute you know you’re carrying a miracle, you bond.  Your heart is theirs and no longer your own.

This is why I knew I had to become a mom – my heart was too full and too big and I needed to share it.  Now that I have – life is complete.  I can deal with the ups and downs and blurs – every time I see his sweet face, all of the pain, sadness and the rocky path we had to take just goes away.  My slate is wiped clean and I am fulfilled. 

Blake, Mommy & Seamus

I still think I am the luckiest mom on the planet – I guess that’s how the whole silly bumper sticker thing started isn’t it?  You want to tell the world about your amazing gift; I get that now.  I promise though, that if I ever put one of those silly bumper stickers on my car, that car will not nor will it ever be a minivan! :o)  Have a great Friday ya’ll!

One Mack Daddy Crack

Wow.  What a wacky weekend.  It was a blur....after seeing Dr. Matt this morning, I now understand why.  My people, my body is adapting all too well to this baby thing.  So well in fact, that my neck decided to slide to the left side - all of it.  That was causing my monster headache that would never go away and caused my entire weekend to be nothing but a blur. 

He did one mack daddy crack - a cranial sacral pull -and wham.  My whole spine cracked in response.  I heard it and felt it all the way to my tailbone.  Sweet mercy.  Needless to say, going forward, I will now be seeing Dr. Matt twice a week.  None of this tough guy, I only need him once in a while business. 

Pain has a whole new definition when you're having a baby I've learned.  No popping Advil.  No heating pads.  No hot baths.  All of my vices are off limits.  So the chronic pain that I've had for years now is magnified to the nth degree.  Add in hyper,loose joints and I'm a human rubber band who pops things as a hobby.  Good times.

At least we know that the headache was due to a mechanical problem and not hormones.  There's that at least.

I'm waiting for the magic day that everyone has told me about....the day I wake up and feel GREAT!  Energized even!  I'll be content with an afternoon like that - seriously.  A great night's sleep would be good too. 

I did breakdown and buy a maternity pillow today - I'm praying that it works - if it doesn't, the Bubbies will have a really expensive new bed to fight over!

So for now, I'm still fighting the vestiges of a slight headache and although it was fun to see L & L for a short while this weekend - it wasn't nearly long enough!  Can't wait to see the whole H clan and soon!!!

For now, good luck to all with the 'back to school' traditions going on this month and I hope that everyone loves their new teachers!  Don't let the homework break you! :)

Happy Monday Ya'll!