Update on Baby McG

Hey everyone - sorry I've been offline for so long.  It's been a grueling 3 weeks for sure.  Basically, Baby McG is doing well and is now 15 weeks!  Yay!  Unfortunately, I'm not doing as well.   Before I get into my issues, here are a few stats on Baby McG - he/she is 4oz!  Baby is measuring a few days ahead of my due date - we have an over achiever!   According to my fruits and veggies chart - the baby is the size of an apple now so I guess that's why I'm feeling a pooch finally.

So now for my drama...I have had bleeding on and off since about 5 weeks - now the bleeding has escalated and is threatening the baby.  SO, I'm on Double Secret Probation - aka - bed rest.  I'm allowed to work for now and go to doctor appointments etc...but otherwise, I'm tied to this bed.  The Bubbies are loving it - me?  Not so much.

I also found out that I am RH negative and the baby is not....so that is creating problems as well.  So now the baby might have complications as well.  Right now the numbers are really low - so please keep the baby in your prayers that they stay that way.

Otherwise, I'm tons of fun to be around - my pain is actually much better and I'm allowed to go see Dr. Matt, DD and the rest of Team McGowan for now...fingers are crossed that they continue to allow this.  We've become experts at ordering from menus across town and I still really don't have an appetite.  But for the most part the nausea has left me.  Woohoo!

For now I'm focusing on how well the baby seems to be doing for now and am praying like crazy.  I'm allowed to work from home for the time being and I hope it's allowed for a while.  Helps to keep me sane! 

I hope you're all doing well and having a wonderful week and September so far!

Happy Thursday Ya'll!

Made in Charlotte

Well, I'm back.  Sort of.  I've been on a hiatus of sorts - trying to get rid of these wicked, wicked headaches.  I've asked for advice and tried it all, but unfortunately, these nasty things are caused by me, myself and I - not hormones.  I have numerous musculoskeletal issues that resulted from a few surgeries about four years ago.  When you add those to hyper mobile joints and strong muscles, you get issues and evil headaches.

Dr. Matt has been at the center of my universe followed VERY closely by DD and her 'evil' yet healing massage hands.  Between the two of them, I'm able to see straight for now but still need to get a good night's sleep.  

Baby McG is thriving - thank goodness - I guess this is my first "mommy" lesson - I feel horrible, but the baby feels great - that's all that matters! Suffering is all part of the deal! :)

So I'm here...I'm fighting through the fog and dreaming about Advil and chewing food again.  But until I get 'on top' of the headaches, chewing isn't in my future.  I've been released from the amazing fertility clinic we've been going to for years - it was so sad and yet such a happy moment. 

It is always their goal to release their patients to our regular docs for further prenatal care, but it's bittersweet to leave that amazing support network behind.  There were tears and hugs and they gave us the sweetest onesie that says "Made in Charlotte" on the front - our first baby clothes gift.  We love it - it's surreal for now.  I guess it will feel more real when I start to see a 'regular' doctor and the ultrasounds change from weekly to monthly - OY!  Team McGowan is morphing!

I'm in the middle of week 11 - Baby McG is almost the size of a lime - but according to the doctor, "it's a long one!"  Uh oh.  Where on Earth will I put a long baby???  Looks like I'll be carrying a pretzel soon!  Poor kid - let's hope he/she stops getting longer and just starts to fill in!    God did not give me a normal sized upper body - in fact I'm so short wasted that petite shirts are long on me....should be an interesting time!

For now, my focus is on work and getting through some really interesting projects.  I'm swimming in a sea of bureaucracy right now - luckily I'm a strong swimmer.  I'm hoping this too shall pass and good things will come with this new job.  It's interesting and requires out of the box thinking - nice for a change!

I hope you're all doing well!
Happy Monday Ya'll!

Manic Tuesday

Just another manic Tuesday....don't you just hate driving into work (after you left on time and everything) and realizing after about 15 minutes, that you had a conference call that started 15 minutes earlier.  Nice. 

Luckily when I got on the call, they only needed me for another 10 minutes instead of the hour they had scheduled.  I hate when people do that by the way....why block my calendar for 60 minutes when you only need 15?  Then they joke and say - "look, I gave you back 45 minutes!"   My brain  immediately goes to - "You Dork.  You just wasted 15 minutes of my time at 8AM.  Don't try to be cute with me.  Just hang up the damn phone." 

I'm in a great mood aren't I?  I've been living with a headache for 3 days now.  Add the nausea in and I'm a fun girl to be around right now.  Seriously, I'd be a blast at parties - what a total joy package I have working!  

Have I mentioned that Baby McG is now the size of a grape?  Yep.  Here's some other interesting tidbits:

• At 9 weeks pregnant, baby has begun movement - While still too small for you to feel, your little one is wriggling, shifting, and dancing already! Makes you almost wish for a window to peek in whenever you want!
• Most joints are formed now - and trust that your little one is practicing bending and flexing.
• Fetus will curve its fingers around an object placed in the palm of its hand - This is amazing to see! At only 9 weeks pregnant, if you happen to have an ultrasound, you may observe your infant fascinated by everything he or she can lay their fingers on (mainly other fingers, toes, ears and nose!
• Fingerprints are already evident in the skin
• Average size at 9 weeks pregnant -- length 0.9 inch (2.3cm), weight 0.07 ounce (2gm)

How cool is all of that?  I'm actually 9 weeks and six days so we're almost at the next phase which is even more interesting.  I'm enjoying learning all of this information and it's so hard to believe all of this happens so early in the baby's development!  When we hit 10 weeks - "Pedro-nina" is officially a 'fetus.'  It's a big day for her! :o) Woohoo!  I still call her booger, but in medical terms it's fetus for now.

See?  I'm trying to focus on the fun and not the misery after all!  It's tough to weed through the really bad days right now, but I've been through worse! 

For now I'll keep reminding myself how fortunate I am to have Team McGowan and such a wonderful group of family and friends for support!   This afternoon we're off to hear the little heartbeat one more time....just a precaution after our scare last week.  Fingers and toes are crossed!

Happy Tuesday Ya'll!

Peace Reigns....

Hey all - first of all, thank you so much for your kinds words, support and prayers.  We're hanging in here...my bleeding has stopped for now but I'm still having some cramping.  I spent the day relaxing (and praying) and trying to stay calm and peaceful. 

I didn't even get out of bed until it was time to get ready and go to acupuncture this evening.  Acupuncture always helps  - NO lie.  No matter how bad my day is, it always calms me and helps reset things.  Hope, the magician acupuncturist and future mommy herself, was able to calm more of my fears and talk me through a few things as well.  It helps when your acupuncturist specializes in fertility treatments and knows her way around the aches, pains and issues that come with a pregnancy.  Some days she more of a therapist than an acupuncturist, but I love her either way!  Go Team McGowan!

I'm holding my own for now and baby McG is hanging in so far as well.  On a lighter note, I feel like crap, so I guess that's good for now huh? :) I made B take me out for Mexican - because apparently our baby is going to be nicknamed Pedro, and that's the only food I want right now.  It tasted good and I scarfed it down like I hadn't eaten in a month.  Unfortunately about 10 minutes after I was done, the nausea moved back in.

I get it now though.  This will be the hardest three months of my life.  I had a great talk with a dear friend last night and she 'talked turkey' to me about this baby thing.  I learned a lot and I think I've got my big girl panties ready for the ride.  I can do this...I've been through hard things before, lots of them.  I just think I was so focused on the actual 'getting pregnant' thing, that the idea of 'what comes next' didn't really get enough focus.

SO as of today, I've had three great blood tests results and one scary episode.  My next ultrasound is on the 31st so I'll just suck it up and pray I make it to see a heartbeat.    God is good - I trust that this is meant to be.

I have peace in my heart no matter what and truly think I need to get my focus back on the positives and off of the scary parts.  So today I'm thankful for the the following:

1.  No bleeding - at all today.
2.  Great phone calls from my family (and pretty flowers too!  Thanks T&B!)
3.  I had great cuddle time with my Bubbies.
4.  Great call from my college roommate - she always cheers me up!
5.  Acupuncture and support from Team McGowan always picks me up too!

Lastly, I thank you for your notes and prayers....I truly believe this baby wouldn't be here if not for the power of prayer.   I hope each of you has had a great week and is looking forward to a relaxing and fun weekend.

Much Love and Happy Friday Ya'll!

And the Beat Goes On

Ok, so let's recap the last few of my posts - we went through fertility treatments, we waited and waited and waited, we found out we were pregnant (yay!), and I claimed it.  Obviously I'm a very silly girl because all I focused on was the actual 'getting pregnant' part of the whole picture.  So now that I'm pregnant, I'm back in the vicious loop of waiting, claiming, waiting and claiming. 

Today was a rough day for me. I'm totally ramped up about work - things are happening that one day I'll share; but right now it's a bit stressful to think about.  I'm not really happy at work right now but I need to have a job without B working.  SO I need to suck it up and put it away until I have no choice but to deal with it.  That might be two weeks from now actually.  At least I hope it is.

I woke up this morning and realized I didn't feel pregnant.  OH MY GOD.  I was ready to run screaming through the house - instead I asked for a hug.  It helped.  I thought I had that under control, but obviously I didn't. 

But I still had to go to work - after a quick visit to Dr. Matt - who still cracks me up by the way - so I went to work, practicing my yoga breathing - go Team McGowan! - it helped somewhat, but then the work stuff started and boy was I a wreck.  I got so upset today that I couldn't stay calm, my heart was just racing and then I noticed that I was feeling  really 'different.' Scary different.

I just wanted to turn tail and go home and crawl in bed and pray that everything would be ok.   I stuck it out though, talked with my boss and settled a few things and after a few hours of being calm, began to feel pregnant again.  I know I sound crazy ya'll - but I'm really scared right now.  I know I'm supposed to be  - but boy, after miscarrying 3 years ago, I'm second guessing every little twinge - praying that things are still copacetic.

So for now, I'm going to continue breathing deeply and hope that tomorrow's blood work is great - work can just continue to stay in the background for a while I think.  Baby McGowan's still so much more important - I'll just keep focusing on positive thoughts....

Fingers are crossed until tomorrow.....for now we're enjoying some cuddle time with our Bubbies, I'm curled up with my favorite afghan and Sabrina's on television - ok it's the remake of Sabrina, but any sappy chick flick in a pinch right?  And the beat goes on....(Sonny and Cher's version mind you.)  One day down many more to go!

Happy Thursday Ya'll!

Namaste Ya'll

According to the FreeDictionary.com, yoga can be defined as:
.

1. also Yoga A Hindu discipline aimed at training the consciousness for a state of perfect spiritual insight and tranquility.

2. A system of exercises practiced as part of this discipline to promote control of the body and mind.

I'm not really sure what I thought about yoga before today, but I know I always likened yoga with pain.  Not sure why, I guess just watching people on TV doing yoga always made me wince.  So this morning, when my friend Kiesha arrived at 8:55AM - I was totally unsure of what to expect.

Kiesha is a great friend whom I met through a former job who has become an accomplished yoga instructor and has started her own business called, Yoga-Me.  If you live in the Charlotte, NC area, I highly recommend you shoot her an email and check out one of her classes or even better, have her come to your house like I did and do a one-on-one session.  There was no pain - at all.  And in my world, that's saying a great deal.

It was probably one of the most relaxing things I've ever done that actually worked my muscles!  I can't wait until our next session - but I promise you this, due to my ridiculously short arms, I will never become a true yoga devotee.  It's true what they say about your arm length being equal to the length of your feet - tiny feet + short arms = awkward yoga to be sure!

My goal for doing yoga is really to gain back my upper body strength that was lost after so many surgeries - and if I get cut arms out of the deal, hey, I'll take it!  I'll never have Kiesha's 'guns', but I'll be satisfied with arms that look like they belong to a 40 something and not a 60 something! :o)

I also want to find some methods for stress relief - learning different ways to breathe based upon my situation could be really important - that and I'd love to find a way to go back to sleep at night when my brain won't be quiet.  I have a lot of those...maybe soon I won't!  Either way, I loved my first foray into yoga and I hope to learn much more about it - and soon!  You've been warned Kiesha!

As for today, it was another blazing hot one here in the South - I hope that wherever you are that you are staying cool, calm and relaxed - and enjoying your weekend!

Namaste Ya'll!  Happy Sunday and Happy July!

Yoga For Dummies

Life is good.  When you think it's not, think again.  Right now, I have Paxton on my feet, curled up in a tight ball with Seamus laying next to him, watching TV. (Yes, he does.)  Seriously, when you're having a bad day, go find a dog and cuddle.  It makes all bad things better.  They just 'know' don't they?

Today is sort of a free association day for me....my mind is wandering.  Just too many things banging around up there.  I have a much better frame of mind though and have totally surrendered those things I can't control; I have really felt much calmer because of it too.  I highly recommend it!  I've never been one to give up on 'fixing things', but boy, when everything is just 'done broke', you sure need to take a virtual time out and just let things be broken for a while.

Right now, my kitchen dish drainer is full of dishes and flower vases, there are grass clippings all over the once clean floor - thanks to the Bubbies' jaunts outside - and I have coupons on the coffee table from two weeks ago that still need to be clipped.  So what am I doing?  Watching the Food Network and free associating with you!  I have to say, it feels good too.  :o)

I had an wonderful dinner with a great friend last night - she's the newest member of Team McGowan!  Woohoo!  She's a yogi - some day when I grow up I truly want my arms to look like hers.  At this point though, I'll settle for learning how to breathe and stretch and in general, make my body stronger.  We've talked about it for a few years now, and I think my poor body is finally ready to move forward.  My brain has been ready for a while - but you know to do Yoga, you need the whole package engaged, mind and body.

So we're going to schedule time and she's going to kick my butt - well, my body from the waist up to start.  I call it the 'ignored zone' - everything hurts above the waist, so I typically only work out from the waist down - you know, bike riding, walking etc...it's time to wake up my back and shoulders and get some tone back.

I think if you look up atrophied at Wikipedia.com, they show my body.  Sad, but true.  K has a great deal of work to do with me!  I really think half of it is mental....but that's the hard part - turning my brain off and just moving.

You know, that's going to be my mantra - Turn off my brain and just move.  I like it.  Of course I'll still bake and worry a little, but that's allowed right? 

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!