Blake & the Bubbies

The Bubbies have adjusted pretty well to having little man around.  In fact, they adjusted much better than I thought they would!  For now, Seamus is both jealous and protective of Blake.  Paxton, he just ignores him – unless there is a treat involved and then he will lick his face and look at us like, “I’m such a good boy aren’t I?  Don’t I deserve a treat now?”  HA!



Blake for the most part will ignore them, unless Seamus lies down next to him – then he’s all about the tail! J  Poor Seamus has lost many of his tail hairs over the last few weeks.  I’m afraid that will happen more often but for now we’re able to hold onto Blake’s hands and warn Seamus to get out of harm’s way.

Stealth Paxton -
They won't notice me under his crib...

Paxton avoids this treatment by staying as far away from Blake as possible.  It’s as though he’s been around babies before and knows what they can do to him.  There are times that he notices Blake like he’s never seen him before and barks at him.  Like, “who the hell are you and who let you into my living room?!”  It startles Blake, but for the most part, the dog barks don’t bother him in the least.



He stays sound asleep when the dogs bark which is great.  I guess he heard it all the time when I was pregnant with him so now he’s just used to it.

Last weekend we went out to dinner and were sitting outside waiting for our meal.  Blake was a bit antsy so I walked around with him to distract him. He’s a social baby and doesn’t like to miss anything; bring on the noise and the people.  While we were walking around he saw a big Golden Retriever mix lying on the ground.  He just stared and stared at that dog whose name was Buddy - he was sweet.  We said hello and I walked on, but Blake swiveled in my arms to see Buddy.  At that moment, Buddy barked and Blake got a huge grin on his face.  He knew that Buddy would bark – didn’t faze him in the least. 





I really love that he likes dogs, people and chaos in general.  I often wondered when I was lying in bed for all those months whether he would be a quiet baby, a loud crier, a mellow bub or what.  I knew that what I wanted for him was to be adaptable to things at a very early age - to just be able to go with the flow.  He definitely does that; at least for now.



Seamus the Photo Bomber!



I think he’ll give Pax and Seamus a run for their money.  Seamus is going to be his cuddle bud and Paxton will stay under his cloak of invisibility under the coffee table.  Seamus will continue to photo bomb our Blake pictures and Paxton will steal his toys and put them – you guessed it, under the coffee table.  Blake will smile and laugh when they bark and pull Seamus’ tail hairs and hopefully learn to scratch his belly – gently.  And peace will reign.  I hope.

Happy Sunday Ya’ll!

Boredom Has Set In

Another few days down.  It feels like I spend A LOT of time these days just watching the clock...dare I say, wishing my time away?  The days feel much longer than in the past and I've just got to come up with ways to stay busy. 

I'm so over Facebook that I'm amazed at how people can spend so much time on it.  I'm not reading - at all.  Not sure why.  When I have work - I work...but I can't do that 24/7.  TV is just ridiculous....and I refuse to watch Honey BooBoo!

So where does that leave me?  Pouting and grumpy...even the Bubbies are out of sorts.  Paxton has been spending lots of time in his crate - which is so very odd.  Seamus is just miserable and won't settle down.  They aren't cuddling with me anymore.  I think they blame me for being in bed and for ruining their days.  I wish they would stay with B downstairs or somewhere else in the house but no.  They will not leave me for any length of time.  I almost feel guilty about it!

I think I need to dig out my embroidery or something, but honestly, I'm just not motivated.  This is the time of year I'm in the kitchen.  I want to make my applesauce and my Jewish Apple Cake - I want to bake and cook comfort food - instead, I'm racking my brain every night trying to come  up with something that will appeal that we can order for take out.

It's going to be a really long 5 months my people.  I think B will go crazy soon - today he was fitted for new running shoes (Thanks DD!).  His knees were giving him grief - but considering he has just started back to running after an almost 10 year hiatus, he's doing really well!  Go B!

I'm really proud of him - he's training for a 5K in November.  I hope I can go and yell for him when the time comes!

In the meantime, I think Long Island Medium was on last night....and there's always the  Barefoot Contessa.  Oy, I'm so not good at being sedentary.....wish me luck!
Happy Monday Ya'll!

I Liked Today So Much, I'd Like to Do it Again!

Reasons Why I'm Thankful Today:

1.  I'm married to a sweet man who took me to go see Ted today -a totally ridiculous movie but hysterical!
2.  I got all the popcorn I wanted - he even let me go first!
3.  I'm almost done with the longest wait of my life!
4.  I have a great friend who just sent me a really fun and sweet card - just because.
5.  I have two sweet Bubbies who are ALWAYS happy to see me - even after we left them crated for 8 hours - shame on us!
6.  I had a great talk with my husband who agrees that we are really lucky and blessed people.
7.  I had over 100 hits on my blog the other day - WOW!  I hope my story helps someone else who feels alone in their quest with infertility.
8.  Our dog Paxton has really done well on his Prozac - he's so much sweeter and his outbursts are less frequent and much less aggressive.
9.  I got through today with a smile on my face. 
10.  I just heard from a high school friend - got a really nice, thoughtful note which meant a lot!  I love random emails!
11.  My Godmother just joined Facebook!  Now I can chat with her all the time!  Hey Aunt Lois!
12.  I had popcorn and chocolate for lunch - sweet.
13.  A close friend sent me a really sweet bible verse - even though she's having her own trials.  What a great friend!
14.  We had a great visit with B's hairdresser - she shared her own infertility story with us and offered her prayers and support.  She's a really sweet person - who no matter what trials she's dealing with continues to give to others with her warmth and enthusiasm.
15.  I just got a face-full of Paxton kisses.  (Twice!)
16.  I watched Tangled for the first time this morning while lazing around in bed - LOVED it!   But then I love all Disney movies....
17.  We had a great dinner at one of our favorite burger joints - and they have a Gluten Free Menu!
18.  It's Sunday and I have NOTHING to do.   Awesome.
19.  B went to the doctor on Friday and is finally getting over his sinus infection.  
20.  I am most thankful for all of the support I've received from all of you who read this blog - your notes, comments, prayers and feedback mean more to me than you can imagine!   Thanks everyone!  My 'Pie Plate' is full today!

Not too shabby for a Saturday is it? :o) 

Happy Sunday Ya'll!

Bubbie Love

Paxton - our sweet Bubbie is on Prozac....yes, bless his little heart, we had to medicate him.  Paxton is our sweet little rescue mutt who has some pretty serious issues.  When he was a puppy, we thought it was so cute when he stole Seamus' toys - all of them.  We laughed when he laid on top of all of the toys and in general was a little cute, black furball of a bully.

Little did we know that the little lip curls and snarls would evolve into a scary, slightly possessed behavior that he has very little control over.  Right now, he's curled up on one of his beds - yes, he has two downstairs and two upstairs.  (Get over it.)  He's calm now, but 20 minutes ago, he was lunging and biting at B because he made the mistake of bending over to pet Paxton in the kitchen.  Maybe it was the dim lighting, maybe it was the fact that B bent over, who knows.  Whatever the trigger, it set him off and he became the Tazmanian Devil in 5 seconds flat.  It's scary when it happens.

Sometimes you can see it coming and others, he just lunges without warning and you have to jump to get as far out of his way as possible.  Otherwise, you'll end up with a bite mark, a scratch or worse, bloody.  He's a brutal little one when he's in the zone.  You can see it, his eyes glaze over and he's not there anymore.  Paxton as we know and love him is gone.  It's a darned good thing he's only 11 lbs...otherwise, he wouldn't be here.

When he snaps out of it, he's very upset and shakes, moans and typically is either under the coffee table or in his crate - all dependent upon whether it happens upstairs or down.  If you can get him to focus by getting him to sit - using his brain - he snaps out of it faster, but if you can't, he will continue to attack and try to get you to stay away from him.  It's totally based on irrational fear.

We've had two different trainers and have been to our vet numerous times.  The latest visit sent us to a behavioral specialist (veterinarian) who was bloody expensive.   After the first 3 hour visit with him, we learned Pax has something called, Owner Based Fear Aggression.  Basically, if he moved in with another family, he'd do it to them too.  It's just how he's wired.  He's also socially handicapped.  He doesn't pick up on cues from other dogs.  Basically, he doesn't speak doggie-ese. 

It's so heartbreaking it's hard to describe.  He's sweet and loving and so attached 90% of the time.  He's so happy to see me when I get home and he waits for me when I'm upstairs no matter what.  He sits at the top of the steps and won't go down until I do.  We love him to pieces - but boy is he a mess.

So, we've gotten him to a point where the outbursts are fewer, but still just as unexpected - and we figured we were being bad 'parents' if we didn't try to help him with medication too, so here we are.  He's been on the meds now for about 5 days and so far he's gotten even more affectionate - if that's possible.  The outburst with B wasn't AS bad as it's been in the past, so maybe, just maybe it's starting to take off the edge.  We should know more in about a week's time.

In the meantime, we'll spoil him, we'll love on him and we'll give him boundaries.  We'll keep slipping him Prozac in his peanut butter and we'll pray that it helps him to calm down and realize that we're here to take care of him, not hurt him.  We love him so much and can't imagine ever giving him up, but if we're ever going to bring a child into our home, it's a reality that we can't ignore.  So in the meantime, please keep him in your prayers and pray that the little sweet ball of fur gets a chance to feel calm and safe for a change.

Happy Tuesday Ya'll and I'll leave you with one of my favorite Paxton pictures - he was doing a bit of yoga...working on his inner peace -

The dog knows how to get comfortable doesn't he!  :o)