Saturday, June 16, 2012

Oops, He Did It AGAIN!

Yes he did.  He did the whole, paper at the last minute thing.  It was a bit earlier than last week, but it's still midnight and I'm sitting here ready to crash.  Today was a rough day - lots of forced deadlines and cranky people.

(The other thing that makes me crazy is my dear, sweet husband talking to me while I'm trying to write this post! :)  Love you HB, but let me focus now please!)  I have a sleeping dog next to me on the love seat and I'm a bit cold from the ceiling fan...and we won't even talk about the butter cream icing on my t-shirt.  (Guess you know what I did tonight huh?) 

I'm a wreck...what a long and crazy week.   I feel like this week was blurry and I'm tired of losing weeks like that.  I guess this is just a 'pass the time' kind of period in my life.  I get up and go through the motions of the day and really don't have anything wonderful happen that makes it stand out for me.  So, the week just flows by and life moves on.  Yawn.   I follow the structure I created and think I'm good because I did everything on my mental checklist.

I wonder what would happen if I updated my mental checklist and mixed things up.  I need to find new things to think about, worry about and dream about.  The current list is just boring me.  Any ideas?  Maybe I could dream about having twins instead of just one baby - maybe I could dream about being tall and blond.  Nah.  Too predictable.  :o)    Maybe I need to start looking for ways just turn off my damn brain and chill.  (Of course my brain WON'T take time off when I want it to.) 

In reality, I think I'm just avoiding things and focusing on nothing so I don't get caught up in more worrying. I'm so tired of worrying.  Is that the bane of the female existence?  Are we all doomed to think about things that will just stress us out in the long run?  I've been so focused on 'Living in the Moment' that I've stopped revelling in the moment.   

So that's my mission  - to have more fun, find more joy and play.  I want to live it UP in the moment - not just skate through and call it a day!  It's going to be a gorgeous weekend here in NC, so I think I'll start living my full life today.

I'm not sure what that means yet, but I know it will be bigger, better and have more meaning. Maybe it means more Slurpees and less V8, to use a cliche, life is short.  I've spent way too many of my adult years just biding my is my time to really live life and have FUN!  I think I want to learn how to be audacious!   Look out world....

Happy Saturday Ya'll!

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