Thursday, July 19, 2012

Back on the Roller Coaster....

Well, you know they say the little voice knows...well I guess there was a reason why I wasn't diving in head first to mommy-hood....I had a minor emergency today.  I had some bleeding.  I know all of you who have had kids are going, ok, that's normal.  I guess it is, but when your morning sickness ends and you start bleeding, your heart goes immediately to panic.

I called my doctor's office and they had me come right in.  I was able to see the ultrasound and I have one little one growing - no twins.  I"m thrilled to have one - don't get me wrong.  It looks ok for now, but it's too early for a heartbeat.  So all I know is that the baby looks ok for now....but if I still have bleeding they want me in tomorrow for blood work. 

I'm back on the roller coaster folks.  I hate this damn roller coaster.  Seriously, I didn't expect this to be as hard as the infertility thing - but it is.  I would actually hazard a guess that this is even harder.  I was hysterical today.  I just couldn't stop the fear and must have prayed so hard that my subconscious drove my car to the doctor's office.

I can't say enough of how amazing the staff was at my doctor's office. If anyone ever needs a fertility clinic in the Charlotte area, I would so recommend REACH....they were so caring and worried about me.   They helped keep me sane until B could get there.  The doctor spent about 20 minutes with me and walked through what he saw and the positives as well as the things he couldn't predict.  He was very open and honest with me.

I appreciated the honesty, but boy I could have used a few lies today...let me tell you!  I get that my reality is right now to stay still and pray more than I've ever prayed.  I know that this is in God's hands and that if it's meant to be it will be.

For now I'm going to be thankful for the wonderful friends I have at work who calmed me as much as they could and then called my husband to get him on his way to the doctor.  I'm thankful for the doctor and nurses at REACH and I'm thankful that for now, my baby is doing exactly what it's supposed to do.  I'm also thankful that our electricity came back on an hour earlier than expected....that will have to do for now.

Keep those prayers coming if you can - we'd really appreciate it...

Have a happy Thursday Ya'll!

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