Blake & the Bubbies

The Bubbies have adjusted pretty well to having little man around.  In fact, they adjusted much better than I thought they would!  For now, Seamus is both jealous and protective of Blake.  Paxton, he just ignores him – unless there is a treat involved and then he will lick his face and look at us like, “I’m such a good boy aren’t I?  Don’t I deserve a treat now?”  HA!



Blake for the most part will ignore them, unless Seamus lies down next to him – then he’s all about the tail! J  Poor Seamus has lost many of his tail hairs over the last few weeks.  I’m afraid that will happen more often but for now we’re able to hold onto Blake’s hands and warn Seamus to get out of harm’s way.

Stealth Paxton -
They won't notice me under his crib...

Paxton avoids this treatment by staying as far away from Blake as possible.  It’s as though he’s been around babies before and knows what they can do to him.  There are times that he notices Blake like he’s never seen him before and barks at him.  Like, “who the hell are you and who let you into my living room?!”  It startles Blake, but for the most part, the dog barks don’t bother him in the least.



He stays sound asleep when the dogs bark which is great.  I guess he heard it all the time when I was pregnant with him so now he’s just used to it.

Last weekend we went out to dinner and were sitting outside waiting for our meal.  Blake was a bit antsy so I walked around with him to distract him. He’s a social baby and doesn’t like to miss anything; bring on the noise and the people.  While we were walking around he saw a big Golden Retriever mix lying on the ground.  He just stared and stared at that dog whose name was Buddy - he was sweet.  We said hello and I walked on, but Blake swiveled in my arms to see Buddy.  At that moment, Buddy barked and Blake got a huge grin on his face.  He knew that Buddy would bark – didn’t faze him in the least. 





I really love that he likes dogs, people and chaos in general.  I often wondered when I was lying in bed for all those months whether he would be a quiet baby, a loud crier, a mellow bub or what.  I knew that what I wanted for him was to be adaptable to things at a very early age - to just be able to go with the flow.  He definitely does that; at least for now.



Seamus the Photo Bomber!



I think he’ll give Pax and Seamus a run for their money.  Seamus is going to be his cuddle bud and Paxton will stay under his cloak of invisibility under the coffee table.  Seamus will continue to photo bomb our Blake pictures and Paxton will steal his toys and put them – you guessed it, under the coffee table.  Blake will smile and laugh when they bark and pull Seamus’ tail hairs and hopefully learn to scratch his belly – gently.  And peace will reign.  I hope.

Happy Sunday Ya’ll!

Beware of the Sloth Attack

Well, it's July and hot as blazes outside here in Charlotte, NC.  I'm enjoying my week off so far, but not sure what I have to show for it!  I've always lived under the guise of doing - something, anything every day that I can look back on and be proud of.  So far, I've been on 'vacation' for five days and I've got very little to show for it.

I've had some fun and enjoyed my relaxation, but I'm not too sure I've been very productive.  If anything, during this phase of my life, I should be keeping busy and keeping my mind otherwise occupied.    Even my dogs sense something is up....there's something to be said about Bubbie intuition isn't there?  I've constantly had a Bubbie on my lap, at my feet or just sitting next to me for days now.  I love every minute of it.  They do get warm though!    I'm still fascinated that they have to be on me or next to me when it's 104 degrees outside! 

The only drawback to all of this 'Bubbie love' is it gives me an even bigger incentive to do nothing.  It's like a vicious circle of sloth!  I'm sitting here typing this when I should be figuring out what we're going to have for dinner!  My brain AND my stomach could just care less right now.  I assume that's just a side effect of my sloth attack.   My secret hope is that my sweet husband will pull a miracle out of his pocket and come up with something easy and appealing without me making a darned thing!  Miracles can happen you know!

This time off wasn’t really planned – it was a vacation of opportunity I guess you could say.  I had the time and there was nothing going on at work so here we are.  I should have planned something I guess, but with B doing homework around the clock, there isn’t a whole lot of time to go away or do even a day trip.

I’m on a ‘stay-cation’ I guess you could say for now.  I need to finish that stupid book I started a week ago and bake something.  That will help to make me feel productive I guess.  Maybe I can start to knit.  It’s too hot to dig in the dirt outside, ain’t no way I’m walking the poor Bubbies in this heat and honestly, even doing my favorite thing – grocery shopping could be risky.  By the time I hit the car, my food will have been cooked – so no grocery shopping for me!

(Wow, that’s depressing.  I’m on vacation and I want to go grocery shopping.  I need help.)

I hope the rest of you are enjoyed a wonderful weekend and have great things planned for the holiday week ahead!

For now, I’ll go back to my book, rotate the Bubbies off my lap and try to feel all perky and productive.

Happy Monday Ya’ll!



No Pie for YOU!

Is there something in your heart you just know?  You don't want it to be true and you don't talk about it, but you know it isn't going anywhere.  Eventually you'll have to face it.  There's a song by one of my favorite bands, Cowboy Mouth, that helps me sometimes- It's called I Believe -

Whatcha gonna do with the restlessness inside your worried mind
How you think you´re ever gonna get ahead when you feel so far behind
Step inside this endless moment for a subtle touch of grace
I´ve always found my strength inside the act of faith

I believe in the spirit of Rock N Roll
In the eternal strength of the immortal soul
Cause sometimes everybody´s gotta let it go
I believe in the power of love

There's another line that says -

I have got to take the best of me and keep that heart alive
Why´d I ever want to shut that down and kill my soul?

This just puts it into words for me.  Be true to myself and let the rest go.  Believe in Love, Faith and Grace.  The three of them are all that keep me going some days.  Being human ain't for the faint of heart ya'll!  Sometimes it actually sucks to be me and I want to live the life of one of my bubbies!  I want to sleep when I want, eat when I want and chew on things....how simple life would be!  Unfortunately, I'm not a bubbie and I have responsibilities to live up to the expectations of life and God....

No stress there!   There's something to be said for having a strong support system, for having faith and love and hope in your life.  But I know there are times it doesn't feel like any of those things are there anymore.   When even Cowboy Mouth can't help, you have what my friend S calls, 'no pie.' 

Translated, you got nothing left sista - you're tapped out and have nothing left to give to anyone.  It's time to recharge your faith, hope and love and get YOU back.  In other words, bake a new pie or worst case scenario, go buy a new pie plate and start over. 

I've used that metaphor so many times over the last 10 years that I just assume all around me understand it.  It's a really quick way to tell your friends that you're in a bad place, that you just need to kvetch or complain or just get it out.  Sometimes everybody's gotta let it go.... Fred (Cowboy Mouth's lead singer) was really onto something with those lyrics wasn't he?

Now the whole 'pie thing' can be used in many ways; here are a few broken down for you:
1.  I need to go buy a pie - meaning - I'm done. I need to start over and just get a fresh perspective.
2.  I feel like a chocolate cream pie this weekend - meaning - I'm going to reset this weekend and 'eat some pie' - get a fresh perspective and just chill.  (Note the more toppings you add to the pie, the more you're going to just let go - chocolate cream pie with whipped cream and chocolate shavings means a REALLY checked out relaxed weekend.)
3.  I have no pie left - meaning- leave me alone right now.  I need to bake. (In my mind, that's not metaphorical!) :o)
4.  He ate all my pie - meaning - that loser just sucked the life right out of me!
5.  No pie for you! - meaning - I don't have anything nice to say so just leave me be!

See how well that works!  S is just brilliant isn't she?  Maybe all of us can get into the whole metaphor and use it as a nicer way to say 'give me some time to let me get ME back and retain my sanity!'  Maybe then we'll have time to deal with the stuff that's stuck in our hearts and just let it go....

Not to leave things on a mellow note - here's another silly song by Cowboy Mouth that just makes me smile - it's called Kelly Ripa and yes, they played it on Regis and Kelly for her!  Here are a few lyrics -

Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
A mommy with the body of a stripper
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
She's so fine, I'd settle for her dad
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If I had some chocolate, I would dip her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Why you wanna make a boy go bad?

Riding around in my car
Worshipping a TV goddess from afar
There's no way I can see
Her ever leaving Regis just to be with me
My girlfriend's mad cause I can pay
Attention to her, watching (Ripa all day)
It must be hard when you're a girl
To be an Angelina in a Kelly world

Here's to a freshly baked pie!  Have a great Tuesday Ya'll! :o)

Yoga For Dummies

Life is good.  When you think it's not, think again.  Right now, I have Paxton on my feet, curled up in a tight ball with Seamus laying next to him, watching TV. (Yes, he does.)  Seriously, when you're having a bad day, go find a dog and cuddle.  It makes all bad things better.  They just 'know' don't they?

Today is sort of a free association day for me....my mind is wandering.  Just too many things banging around up there.  I have a much better frame of mind though and have totally surrendered those things I can't control; I have really felt much calmer because of it too.  I highly recommend it!  I've never been one to give up on 'fixing things', but boy, when everything is just 'done broke', you sure need to take a virtual time out and just let things be broken for a while.

Right now, my kitchen dish drainer is full of dishes and flower vases, there are grass clippings all over the once clean floor - thanks to the Bubbies' jaunts outside - and I have coupons on the coffee table from two weeks ago that still need to be clipped.  So what am I doing?  Watching the Food Network and free associating with you!  I have to say, it feels good too.  :o)

I had an wonderful dinner with a great friend last night - she's the newest member of Team McGowan!  Woohoo!  She's a yogi - some day when I grow up I truly want my arms to look like hers.  At this point though, I'll settle for learning how to breathe and stretch and in general, make my body stronger.  We've talked about it for a few years now, and I think my poor body is finally ready to move forward.  My brain has been ready for a while - but you know to do Yoga, you need the whole package engaged, mind and body.

So we're going to schedule time and she's going to kick my butt - well, my body from the waist up to start.  I call it the 'ignored zone' - everything hurts above the waist, so I typically only work out from the waist down - you know, bike riding, walking etc...it's time to wake up my back and shoulders and get some tone back.

I think if you look up atrophied at Wikipedia.com, they show my body.  Sad, but true.  K has a great deal of work to do with me!  I really think half of it is mental....but that's the hard part - turning my brain off and just moving.

You know, that's going to be my mantra - Turn off my brain and just move.  I like it.  Of course I'll still bake and worry a little, but that's allowed right? 

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

Bubbie Love

Paxton - our sweet Bubbie is on Prozac....yes, bless his little heart, we had to medicate him.  Paxton is our sweet little rescue mutt who has some pretty serious issues.  When he was a puppy, we thought it was so cute when he stole Seamus' toys - all of them.  We laughed when he laid on top of all of the toys and in general was a little cute, black furball of a bully.

Little did we know that the little lip curls and snarls would evolve into a scary, slightly possessed behavior that he has very little control over.  Right now, he's curled up on one of his beds - yes, he has two downstairs and two upstairs.  (Get over it.)  He's calm now, but 20 minutes ago, he was lunging and biting at B because he made the mistake of bending over to pet Paxton in the kitchen.  Maybe it was the dim lighting, maybe it was the fact that B bent over, who knows.  Whatever the trigger, it set him off and he became the Tazmanian Devil in 5 seconds flat.  It's scary when it happens.

Sometimes you can see it coming and others, he just lunges without warning and you have to jump to get as far out of his way as possible.  Otherwise, you'll end up with a bite mark, a scratch or worse, bloody.  He's a brutal little one when he's in the zone.  You can see it, his eyes glaze over and he's not there anymore.  Paxton as we know and love him is gone.  It's a darned good thing he's only 11 lbs...otherwise, he wouldn't be here.

When he snaps out of it, he's very upset and shakes, moans and typically is either under the coffee table or in his crate - all dependent upon whether it happens upstairs or down.  If you can get him to focus by getting him to sit - using his brain - he snaps out of it faster, but if you can't, he will continue to attack and try to get you to stay away from him.  It's totally based on irrational fear.

We've had two different trainers and have been to our vet numerous times.  The latest visit sent us to a behavioral specialist (veterinarian) who was bloody expensive.   After the first 3 hour visit with him, we learned Pax has something called, Owner Based Fear Aggression.  Basically, if he moved in with another family, he'd do it to them too.  It's just how he's wired.  He's also socially handicapped.  He doesn't pick up on cues from other dogs.  Basically, he doesn't speak doggie-ese. 

It's so heartbreaking it's hard to describe.  He's sweet and loving and so attached 90% of the time.  He's so happy to see me when I get home and he waits for me when I'm upstairs no matter what.  He sits at the top of the steps and won't go down until I do.  We love him to pieces - but boy is he a mess.

So, we've gotten him to a point where the outbursts are fewer, but still just as unexpected - and we figured we were being bad 'parents' if we didn't try to help him with medication too, so here we are.  He's been on the meds now for about 5 days and so far he's gotten even more affectionate - if that's possible.  The outburst with B wasn't AS bad as it's been in the past, so maybe, just maybe it's starting to take off the edge.  We should know more in about a week's time.

In the meantime, we'll spoil him, we'll love on him and we'll give him boundaries.  We'll keep slipping him Prozac in his peanut butter and we'll pray that it helps him to calm down and realize that we're here to take care of him, not hurt him.  We love him so much and can't imagine ever giving him up, but if we're ever going to bring a child into our home, it's a reality that we can't ignore.  So in the meantime, please keep him in your prayers and pray that the little sweet ball of fur gets a chance to feel calm and safe for a change.

Happy Tuesday Ya'll and I'll leave you with one of my favorite Paxton pictures - he was doing a bit of yoga...working on his inner peace -

The dog knows how to get comfortable doesn't he!  :o)

I'm on hormones & my dog is on Prozac.....

Well, I was going to write this yesterday, but as usual life got in the way.  So here I am, at midnight, sitting here in the bonus room while someone finishes his homework.  Talk about moral support!  What a good wife I am!  'We' had a paper to work on tonight!  YAY!  It's nice to know I can still pump out the BS when I need to - and I'm really digging the Zebra red ink pen that I got to use to edit the 11 page nightmare - so I guess there are a few pluses to the evening! 

What a great date night huh? :o)  When B signed up to do the grad school thing online - full time - I thought - cool.  He'll do homework and I'll read or bake!  What a great deal that is right?  Sometimes though, even when I don't want to get sucked in, it happens.  The stress grows, the Bubbies are uneasy and I just have to help.  That's all I'm doing though I promise you....my brain isn't up to doing real work at night these days.  I took today off too - and I'm post my massage - so you know my brain and muscles are just useless due to 'you know who'! (I'm still working on her nickname!  On a side note, the Botox seems to have helped my right wing, so here's hoping it's going to get better! Yipee!)

At one time, earlier in life, I thought it was the thing to do to go and get my MBA - I even took the GMATs.  Did pretty well on those as I recall, but I never went to school - was planning on Loyola in MD too.  Got sidetracked though when I was transferred down to the big ATL and all thoughts of school went right out the window!  I mean really, why would I go to school when I could go to Moe's & Joe's and drink cheap PBR?  Silly people!

Of course my path changed many times over the next few years and I ended up in Culinary School instead of grad school. I guess if I had to do it over, I might have let my old company pay for my MBA, but I would have hated doing it.  Seriously.  IF I was to ever go back to school, to would be to study something I know nothing about.  To go to get my MBA now would be tough - I'd probably argue with the teachers and get mad at my books because they weren't real life examples and weren't 'true!'

Maybe I'll go back and learn Gaelic - have always wanted to do that....then I could understand some of my favorite music.  Or maybe I could go take a knitting class - nah.  I'd break the needles - not enough patience for that.  I've got it, belly dancing! :)  HA!  I'd need MUCH more than Botox to even think about doing that!

Perhaps I'll just sit tight for now and keep my red pen handy and keep baking those cookies.  They do help B get through those long haul nights like tonight!

SO for now, I'll leave you with this...I'm on hormones, my dog is on Prozac (another story to come), I'm typing this at almost 12:30AM and B is yelling at me about how on-line is supposed to be spelled....you reckon I have enough to write my first book yet????  :o)

Night Ya'll and Happy Friday/Saturday morning to you!