I Liked Today So Much, I'd Like to Do it Again!

Reasons Why I'm Thankful Today:

1.  I'm married to a sweet man who took me to go see Ted today -a totally ridiculous movie but hysterical!
2.  I got all the popcorn I wanted - he even let me go first!
3.  I'm almost done with the longest wait of my life!
4.  I have a great friend who just sent me a really fun and sweet card - just because.
5.  I have two sweet Bubbies who are ALWAYS happy to see me - even after we left them crated for 8 hours - shame on us!
6.  I had a great talk with my husband who agrees that we are really lucky and blessed people.
7.  I had over 100 hits on my blog the other day - WOW!  I hope my story helps someone else who feels alone in their quest with infertility.
8.  Our dog Paxton has really done well on his Prozac - he's so much sweeter and his outbursts are less frequent and much less aggressive.
9.  I got through today with a smile on my face. 
10.  I just heard from a high school friend - got a really nice, thoughtful note which meant a lot!  I love random emails!
11.  My Godmother just joined Facebook!  Now I can chat with her all the time!  Hey Aunt Lois!
12.  I had popcorn and chocolate for lunch - sweet.
13.  A close friend sent me a really sweet bible verse - even though she's having her own trials.  What a great friend!
14.  We had a great visit with B's hairdresser - she shared her own infertility story with us and offered her prayers and support.  She's a really sweet person - who no matter what trials she's dealing with continues to give to others with her warmth and enthusiasm.
15.  I just got a face-full of Paxton kisses.  (Twice!)
16.  I watched Tangled for the first time this morning while lazing around in bed - LOVED it!   But then I love all Disney movies....
17.  We had a great dinner at one of our favorite burger joints - and they have a Gluten Free Menu!
18.  It's Sunday and I have NOTHING to do.   Awesome.
19.  B went to the doctor on Friday and is finally getting over his sinus infection.  
20.  I am most thankful for all of the support I've received from all of you who read this blog - your notes, comments, prayers and feedback mean more to me than you can imagine!   Thanks everyone!  My 'Pie Plate' is full today!

Not too shabby for a Saturday is it? :o) 

Happy Sunday Ya'll!

Susie Cheerful Here

Well, today I have no pie.  I can't even find a pie plate.  It's a day when I just need to shut down and be.  So I am.  I actually spent most of today in the kitchen.  It was rewarding in a few ways - the fridge is nice and full.  It was also a mental health recharging opportunity.

There comes a time in your life when you just have to be and stop thinking about what's ahead or what's behind you.  I'm there.  Today is just a day to be for me.  I've prayed until I think God is tired of the same old thing.  So now, I've moved on to the saints.  If you're Catholic you know there are hundreds to choose from. I have my favorites, but I guess it depends on the situation.  Right now, I'm talking with all of them.  So far, no movement on their end.  We'll see what tomorrow brings...

Right now, I've done everything I can think of to get out of my funk.  None of it is working.  I'm open to suggestions ya'll.  I've watched three straight Hallmark movies, cooked, cleaned, played with the Bubbies, read a book and still nothing.   I even ate a rice krispie treat with butter cream icing on it.  It's a combo the neighbors love and my first actually and it was OK, but didn't make me smile.   I really wasn't kidding when I said I was out of pie was I?  I don't even feel like baking one right now.  Or eating one.  Or even talking about pie.

Everyone in the house is on edge too - Seamus is barking at everything, even when B stands up from his chair.   Paxton has pretty much set up house under the coffee table and B is snapping at everything that moves.  I guess my mood has spread through the house.   Oh joy; I owe everyone a happy day and soon. 

SO, now I'm open to any and all ideas for happy day thoughts and incentives.  I need things to look forward to and smile about.  As Scarlet O'Hara said...Tomorrow is another Day....  I'm really looking forward to going to bed tonight - maybe I'll sleep through the night and this will be nothing but a bad day to write off....

A girl can hope.  So, signing off for now - Happy Monday Ya'll.  Really.

- Susie Cheerful

No Pie for YOU!

Is there something in your heart you just know?  You don't want it to be true and you don't talk about it, but you know it isn't going anywhere.  Eventually you'll have to face it.  There's a song by one of my favorite bands, Cowboy Mouth, that helps me sometimes- It's called I Believe -

Whatcha gonna do with the restlessness inside your worried mind
How you think you´re ever gonna get ahead when you feel so far behind
Step inside this endless moment for a subtle touch of grace
I´ve always found my strength inside the act of faith

I believe in the spirit of Rock N Roll
In the eternal strength of the immortal soul
Cause sometimes everybody´s gotta let it go
I believe in the power of love

There's another line that says -

I have got to take the best of me and keep that heart alive
Why´d I ever want to shut that down and kill my soul?

This just puts it into words for me.  Be true to myself and let the rest go.  Believe in Love, Faith and Grace.  The three of them are all that keep me going some days.  Being human ain't for the faint of heart ya'll!  Sometimes it actually sucks to be me and I want to live the life of one of my bubbies!  I want to sleep when I want, eat when I want and chew on things....how simple life would be!  Unfortunately, I'm not a bubbie and I have responsibilities to live up to the expectations of life and God....

No stress there!   There's something to be said for having a strong support system, for having faith and love and hope in your life.  But I know there are times it doesn't feel like any of those things are there anymore.   When even Cowboy Mouth can't help, you have what my friend S calls, 'no pie.' 

Translated, you got nothing left sista - you're tapped out and have nothing left to give to anyone.  It's time to recharge your faith, hope and love and get YOU back.  In other words, bake a new pie or worst case scenario, go buy a new pie plate and start over. 

I've used that metaphor so many times over the last 10 years that I just assume all around me understand it.  It's a really quick way to tell your friends that you're in a bad place, that you just need to kvetch or complain or just get it out.  Sometimes everybody's gotta let it go.... Fred (Cowboy Mouth's lead singer) was really onto something with those lyrics wasn't he?

Now the whole 'pie thing' can be used in many ways; here are a few broken down for you:
1.  I need to go buy a pie - meaning - I'm done. I need to start over and just get a fresh perspective.
2.  I feel like a chocolate cream pie this weekend - meaning - I'm going to reset this weekend and 'eat some pie' - get a fresh perspective and just chill.  (Note the more toppings you add to the pie, the more you're going to just let go - chocolate cream pie with whipped cream and chocolate shavings means a REALLY checked out relaxed weekend.)
3.  I have no pie left - meaning- leave me alone right now.  I need to bake. (In my mind, that's not metaphorical!) :o)
4.  He ate all my pie - meaning - that loser just sucked the life right out of me!
5.  No pie for you! - meaning - I don't have anything nice to say so just leave me be!

See how well that works!  S is just brilliant isn't she?  Maybe all of us can get into the whole metaphor and use it as a nicer way to say 'give me some time to let me get ME back and retain my sanity!'  Maybe then we'll have time to deal with the stuff that's stuck in our hearts and just let it go....

Not to leave things on a mellow note - here's another silly song by Cowboy Mouth that just makes me smile - it's called Kelly Ripa and yes, they played it on Regis and Kelly for her!  Here are a few lyrics -

Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
A mommy with the body of a stripper
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
She's so fine, I'd settle for her dad
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
If I had some chocolate, I would dip her
Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa
Why you wanna make a boy go bad?

Riding around in my car
Worshipping a TV goddess from afar
There's no way I can see
Her ever leaving Regis just to be with me
My girlfriend's mad cause I can pay
Attention to her, watching (Ripa all day)
It must be hard when you're a girl
To be an Angelina in a Kelly world

Here's to a freshly baked pie!  Have a great Tuesday Ya'll! :o)