Time to Update the Bucket List!

Life changes when we aren’t looking doesn’t it? I get that a lot of changes happen while we’re looking, but then there are some that you just realize all of the sudden – like when did I get white hair above my forehead?  I’ve been ‘going gray’ for 30 years.  No joke.  But lately I’ve been seeing more and more white hair between my coloring sessions and I don’t think I like it.  I guess around my face is the final frontier for losing my brown.

Interesting.  It’s probably been there a while and I just didn’t notice it, but it’s still a shock.  I’m wearing glasses too, well, readers just to clarify.  But I’m still wearing glasses.  Wow.  Old is just staring at me with new interest. 

Have you heard of the term perceptual blindness?  It’s also known as inattentional blindness.  It is categorized as a psychological lack of attention.  Basically, you’re so focused on something specific; there might be something obvious right in front of you that you miss!  I guess in my case, I was staring at my brown spots and missed the gray hairs? J 

I am fascinated by this concept.  It comes into play when you talk on your cell phone and drive -or those days when you drive on ‘autopilot’ and don’t remember the ride.   I think that I’ve been on autopilot for too long.  I’ve been looking right at life and just haven’t been seeing it. 

The time has come to be more aware and actually live life.  We spent so much time waiting and dreaming of having a family, that now that we have one, we need to enjoy it!  I made a comment the other day that came out of nowhere – which most of my comments do might I add – but I think I surprised the person I was speaking with.  I said that I could die tomorrow and be content with my life.  And I mean that.  My whole life there was a part missing and now that it’s completed through little man, I’m at peace.  Pretty cool. 

But what a shocking waste of a great life!  So I’m focused on living again and am doing my best to not ignore what’s in front of me.  I need to SEE more and look less.  I need to come up with some new bucket list items and goals and get on with enjoying little man and B every single day.  Maybe I’ll stop dying my hair so I don’t have to stare at the white hairs….who knows.   Either way, God gave us an awesome gift and it’s now time to enjoy it!  We all deserve that.    Happiness reigns!

Happy Thursday Ya’ll.

My Heart Is Full!

This whole "Mommy" thing has been a revelation.  I had literally no expectations going in, except for knowing that I would love little man to pieces.  I had no idea that every day it would get harder and harder to leave him to go to work.  It does not seem to matter that I know he is safe and happy and loved beyond recognition.  It is just hard.

Being a Mom is hard.  I get that now in a way that I never could have before Blake.  Your heart literally splits when you have a child.  He/she takes a piece with them when they are born and you are forever tied together in the strongest way possible.

Their pain is your pain.  Their happiness is your happiness.  The best things are the little things – watching him figure out he has fingers or that you have fingers too – brings tears to the eyes.   Each success is a conquest and each delay is heartbreaking.  Life seems to slow down yet go so fast your head spins.  Life becomes a study in contrasts.

I recently heard about friends of a friend who just lost their triplet baby girls.  Twenty four weeks of praying and watching them grow and then they are born and gone so fast that it is a blur.  My heart is just broken for them.  God had other plans for those sweet little babies, but how does a Mother recover from that loss?  The minute you know you’re carrying a miracle, you bond.  Your heart is theirs and no longer your own.

This is why I knew I had to become a mom – my heart was too full and too big and I needed to share it.  Now that I have – life is complete.  I can deal with the ups and downs and blurs – every time I see his sweet face, all of the pain, sadness and the rocky path we had to take just goes away.  My slate is wiped clean and I am fulfilled. 

Blake, Mommy & Seamus

I still think I am the luckiest mom on the planet – I guess that’s how the whole silly bumper sticker thing started isn’t it?  You want to tell the world about your amazing gift; I get that now.  I promise though, that if I ever put one of those silly bumper stickers on my car, that car will not nor will it ever be a minivan! :o)  Have a great Friday ya’ll!

Life Goes On....

One more doctor down!  Woohoo!  We got great news today from the cardiologist - he doesn't need to see me for another 2-3 months - it feels so good to check one more thing off the list.  It's a relief for sure, but in reality it's just so nice to have one less doctor poking at me! 

Things are going well - I'm having some swelling in one of my legs.  It drives me crazy as it's so random and weird; I'll suck it up though - it's better than both legs right? :o)

Work is crazy as usual - especially since my boss has decided to move to a new position with a new company.  Change is good though and I'll just go with the flow.  I've learned in my career to Keep smiling, keep your head down and show them what you've got.  My mantra these days.  I get that everyone is struggling with changes and layoffs are still happening - but change will happen. I have just learned over the years that things will continue to change and sometimes, they are changed for the better.

The oddest thing is knowing that even if I wanted to leave, I can't right now!  It's odd to think that I really can't talk to anyone else about a new job - after all, hiring a woman who is 6 months pregnant can't possibly be appealing right now for any company.  SO for now, I'll enjoy the new challenges and keep smiling.

We're in the process of trying to just enjoy the moments we're experiencing.  We're living in the moment and having fun feeling "O'Pedro" kick like crazy and watching my body morph into a baby carrying machine.  I never let my heart get to the point of thinking about these these kinds of things - so this is really fun!  We're finally able to enjoy our baby-to-be!

We still have no boy names - nothing official anyway.  Hopefully Baby McG will be untarnished by us calling him "O'Pedro" for the first 6 months of his development!   Poor kid, it's almost guaranteed now that people will be calling him Pedro for the first few months of his life!  I guess it could be worse, but we (read B) really need to find a name and SOON! :o)    We have monograms to plan and things to think about that involve names!

On that note, our "Player to be Named Later" and I will sign off for now....

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

We Did It!

I wanted to start this post for today with a huge and heartfelt thanks to all of you who emailed, texted, commented and 'Facebooked' us with your support.  B & I were really touched by everyone's support and we wanted you all to know we're so thankful for all of you!

We also wanted to tell you that - the rabbit did die!  It's very early in the game, but we are having a baby!!!  We are thrilled beyond belief and cannot believe our luck. We are truly blessed!!

My first reaction was honestly, 'now what do I do?'  When you spend four years of your life planning, working towards and praying for something and then it really happens?  It's such an amazingly huge shock!

I'm still stunned that this is 'real' and I guess it will take a lot longer to sink in - but then I do have some time to worry about it right? :o)  Just a few months at least (I just love sarcasm!)

SO I guess to sum up the days events - I got the call and called B and then we both called the world to let them know - while I worked and had meetings in between.  (This work thing is so inconvenient isn't it?)   I have many more blood tests to go before I'm in the safe zone - so please keep those amazing prayers coming ya'll! 

It's still in God's hands - but I have to say - this just feels so right to us!! 

Thanks again for the love and support!  I'm going to take a nap!

And Hey - HAPPY Tuesday Ya'll!!!
XO